I am a manager with about 20 people under my wing. One of them is always mad about something, her rage seems bottomless. Right now she is targeting one of the other people in the department. We have talked about it, I have tried to make progress with her but I can't seem to reach her. She is a single mom and for years has had an adversarial relationship with the father. Many days over the last few years she would be crying at her desk while fighting with him or his mother on the phone. Im starting to think that this years long battling has snapped something in her head.

She has made outbursts at other employees, and there have been a couple customer complaints. She is not one to ever considering apologizing and once you are on her hate list you are there forever. She goes through a lot of "friends". I have been her advocate for many years but I am at the end of my rope with her and am at the point of no longer sticking my neck out to protect her. Her work is excellent but the ripple effect she is having has become intolerable.

If I let nature take its course she would not be around long... thats where Im at.

Any ideas anyone?

I can sympathize with your frustration. It's hard to keep people who are really good at their jobs when they keep bringing the garbage of their personal lives into the workplace

I don't know if you have documented anything concerning her work performance and her personal problems being brought into the workplace.

You might want to try something like a step system for discipline.

One of the ways of implementing that type of system would be like the following:

1. You compose a document telling what the problem has been and how it has affected personnel, customers and the company. Also, how you have given her chances, what the expectations are to be of her from now on, etc. That you appreciate the excellent work she has done, and would hate to see the working relationship with her come to an end.

2. In that same document, you indicate that you are going to give her three more chances, or you will have no choice but to terminate her.

3. You then compose a contract for her to sign in agreement to stipulations that you have spelled out in the contract concerning how her behavior needs to be from now on and how a breach of that contract can occur and that everything will be documented.

4. You schedule a meeting with her to present the document and contract to her. Have a witness at the meeting. To witness any events or words that take place and also her signing the contract.

5. From that time on then, you document any times that there is an infraction of the contract.

Three strikes and she's out.

Just an idea. I like to give people as many chances as possible, also.

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Originally Posted by vinnie64

I am a manager with about 20 people under my wing. One of them is always mad about something, her rage seems bottomless. Right now she is targeting one of the other people in the department. We have talked about it, I have tried to make progress with her but I can't seem to reach her. She is a single mom and for years has had an adversarial realtionship with the father. Many days over the last few years she would be crying at her desk while fighting with him or his mother on the phone. Im starting to think that this years long battling has snapped something in her head.

She has made outbursts at other employees, and there have been a couple customer complaints. She is not one to ever considering apologizing and once you are on her hate list you are there forever. She goes through alot of "friends". I have been her advocate for many years but I am at the end of my rope with her and am at the point of no longer sticking my neck out to protect her. Her work is excellent but the ripple effect she is having has become intolerable.

If I let nature take its course she would not be around long......thats where Im at.

Any ideas anyone?

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I have been in similier position:
You can not change her-she must want to change. Maybe a medical evaluation / intervention

Ok, what would you do if this was another employee, if you would not treat all of them the same, something is wrong about management style.

Next if you are not protecting the other employees and keeping a file and using company rules to warn them about this behavior you could be allowing a hostile work place, This could be putting your company at risk of a law suit from the other workers who are victims of this attack.
And you would be most likely found guilty of knowing and not properly protecting the other workers.

If your company has an employee program perhaps you can require counseling as part of continued employment and/or put them on leave until they are cleared. But there needs to be reviews of all your talks, there should and has to be a folder of counseling sessions with her, warnings given and more. If not, you are in a serious position as a supervisor.

All very good suggestions. Yes, you need to document everything. Meet with her and state the behavior and what you want to see changed. If there is an employee intervention type program, utilize that. She may need counseling - she does need counseling and she needs to not make personal calls at work or accept the personal calls at work, since those calls are affecting her work performance.

What are the company's rules regarding personal phone calls? I have worked for agencies that do not allow personal phone calls, except in case of a family emergency. Even then, the phone calls were screened.

You do need to tighten up your own management techniques. Use outside resources if needed, to get advice on how to handle this employee within the law. Your state Labor Department might be a help. You have the obligation to protect the others in the work area as well as the customers.

You cannot let this woman go on her tirades any longer. You have sufficient reason now to fire her. But do have everything documented? Dates, times, things said and to whom. Complaints made by other employees and customers, etc.

Good luck.

Just for everyone's information concerning the original post, vinnie64 and I have already PM each other a number of times concerning the issue. I hope that he has arrived at a solution. I would like to think that he has, based upon our private messages to each other. But, I do wish that original posters with questions and/or issues would keep things out in the open, without private massaging, so that others can respond to the information based upon their experience and expertise.

I appreciate everyone's answers and candor. There exists documentation on prior incidents and the few customer complaints in addition to my notes and emails. I do treat everyone equally but I also give people a little latitude because this is a very stressfull department and everyone is under a great deal of pressure. I realize that I may be on a slippery slope, which is the driving force behind my decision that something must be done to resolve this problem, even if it isn't a pleasant solution. It is not fair to everyone else to allow it to continue.

I would do a formal write up and some kind of probation if your policies allow. Have a witness at the meeting. During the session lay out, in no uncertain terms what she must do to keep her job and that one more complaint, outburst, or tirade will result in immediate termination. She has been given plenty of leeway. One unfortunate question... do you think she is capable of violence? If so, you may want to look up workplace violence prevention resources.

Also, you may want to implement a new personal call policy for the whole department to prevent similar future occurrences.

I had a boss once who told us to think of work as a haven from personal life woes... that we could leave our problems at the door and take an 8 hour vacation from them. That has always stuck with me as a positive way to view work and coworkers especially in stressful jobs. You should also put some kind of "fun time" into your work week. Buy pizzas on Fridays and everyone eat together or something.