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-   -   Nice guys finish last (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=100468)

  • Jun 11, 2007, 04:30 PM
    zooropa1985
    Nice guys finish last
    True or false?
  • Jun 11, 2007, 04:40 PM
    JoeCanada76
    Not always true, but I can see where people get that impression.

    I would say all depends on the situation. There is no just true or false answer.

    Joe
  • Jun 11, 2007, 04:43 PM
    zooropa1985
    Ok just a wee example.

    Boy makes a silly stupid but ultimately harmless mistake, tries to say sorry and gets dumped.

    Boy treats his girl like crap, maybe even beats her, but says he loves her and that it won't happen again, girl forgives and stays with him.
  • Jun 11, 2007, 04:45 PM
    JoeCanada76
    I would say with that example and that situation. Yes, nice guy finishes last.
  • Jun 11, 2007, 04:59 PM
    DrJ
    Its not that girls like @ssholes... it's that girls like CONFIDENCE and the majority of the time, arrogant @ssholes exude confidence while your typical "nice guy" does not.

    So one could say that yes, "nice guys" finish last. However, that doesn't mean that nice guys finish last.

    (didja get that?)
  • Jun 11, 2007, 05:03 PM
    zooropa1985
    Very true.

    But I hate it when girls go on and on about how they can't find someone to treat them right or they are sick of always being hurt.

    Sometimes you just want to say "darlin maybe prison isnt the best place to go looking for a date" lol
  • Jun 11, 2007, 05:14 PM
    DrJ
    Girls say a lot of things lol ;) the problem is that most of the guys that will treat her right are "wusses". I don't mean that in too much of a derogatory term, its just means that they roll-over. It's the "Lemme buy you a drink", "I called you 17 times today... where were you?", "follow you around everywhere you go", puppy-dog kind of guys.

    Its all about the Laws of Attraction. If you are interested, there is a lot of recommending reading on this subject that will help anyone in this area of life. No, its not manipulation or deceiving... its simply a way of being a better you.


    But yeah, I was a "nice guy" and it sucked. Always stuck in the friend zone. But that soon changed ;)
  • Jun 11, 2007, 05:23 PM
    zooropa1985
    Yea man, before I met my ex it seemed that every girl I wanted I was stuck in the friend zone with, now that sucked worse than paris hilton making a comeback vid
  • Jun 11, 2007, 05:28 PM
    DrJ
    LOL agrred to that!! :D

    Here's a good post that a cool cat named Wildcat posted. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ion-45424.html check that out, and some of his other posts/suggested reading. Hes got this stuff nailed
  • Jun 11, 2007, 06:22 PM
    kristynn
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by zooropa1985
    True or false?

    Unfortunately, it's true.

    But it doesn't mean that nice guys should become bad. :p

    I think we girls like nice guys better, but somehow we're more attracted to the other 'types'... :rolleyes: Again, unfortunately!
  • Jun 11, 2007, 06:43 PM
    NeedKarma
    False.
  • Jun 12, 2007, 07:02 AM
    huno
    False.

    Nice guys aren't even in the race to begin with.
  • Jun 12, 2007, 07:50 AM
    emopunk7
    Well if you have a girlfriend... You should be nice to her. I mean girls don't want an abusive guy or anything. I think it's all tug-a-war... Even while dating, don't say yes to everything. Let there be some waiting but not to the point of frustration. Also, let there be room to breath. I learned this much from my last experience. Being too nice, they know they can do anything. Being mean will make them leave... I believe it's more of a balance you need to have... But this is only 25% of the game. How good are you in bed? How interesting are you... All these books of relationships and stuff are useless really. Who you are is who you are and somebody will love you just for that someday, forever! Someday, we will all finish last!
  • Jun 12, 2007, 01:26 PM
    zooropa1985
    Yea very true, I think it sucks that you have to pretend not to really like someone in order for them to stay interested, seems pretty messed up.
  • Jun 12, 2007, 02:31 PM
    NeedKarma
    It's not messed up, it's silly game playing. You're better off with a girl that doesn't do this.
  • Jun 12, 2007, 03:04 PM
    Jiser
    Its not nice guys finish last. Its about having your own life away from your 'partner!'

    The three C'S!

    1) Challenge
    2) Confidence
    3) Charm

    Girls DO want nice guys. What they don't want, however, is a nice guy who lacks certain aspects found mostly, but not exclusively, in the jerks you're talking about. They crave these things. You have to have what I call the Three C's - ever so trite, isn't it? The three C's are:

    Charm - The ability to hold a conversation, be humorous, and dish out compliments with creativity and style. Believe it or not, "You have such shapely collarbones" is a far better compliment than "You're beautiful", just because it's something you rarely hear.

    Challenge - That perfect mixture of flirtatiousness and elusiveness that leaves girls wondering, "Does he like me?". They LOVE that feeling of not having total control.

    Confidence - The ability to take risks and handle the inevitable pain and rejection that is so much a part of dealing with the opposite sex with dignity and poise. After all, you know you're the biggest catch this side of Albuquerque! It's her loss, not yours. NOTHING is a bigger turn-off than desperation.

    Charm is what most nice guys have, and most jerks don't. But jerks do have more confidence and challenge than those who complain of Nice Guy Syndrome. They've got you outnumbered two to one. Self-proclaimed Nice Guys need to get the rest of the package. You need to show girls that you can be sexy, fun, and full of attitude without sacrificing the heart of gold you know makes you a better man than all the insensitive jerks out there.

    Get the three C's and you'll never be at a loss for excitement and fulfillment in your love life.
  • Jun 24, 2007, 10:33 AM
    gaia213
    Hmm strange question hehe I've got two C s

    Challenge

    Charm

    But you see I have girls after me a lot more then jerks but I also am such a unique person that probably everyone knows me I mean I am being flirted a lot with girls although I don't got the slightest bit of confidence to tell the girl I like that I like her.


    If you want to know what my uniqueness is in I can tell


    But believe me the girls are also going harsh 3 have asked for sex I'm 12 years old(class jump... It's hard being the youngest and most unique person(for not just that reason)in school)
  • Jun 24, 2007, 10:36 AM
    BigCityDreams007
    False... In my own experience I was the so called " Popular girl" in high school I cheerleaded and I was all about partying lol... My boyfriend now was the band geek, played video games but was a sweet heart always told me when my boyfriends were jerks I just realized that this guy would do anything to make me happy and we have been together ever since but I could see why you say nice guys finish last, some girls just want bad boys.. lol
  • Jun 24, 2007, 11:35 AM
    Geoffersonairplane
    I ditto Jisers response, that was a good answer.

    Women like a nice guy with the three c's.

    1.) Charm

    2.) Confidence

    3.) Challenge

    Sorry to repeat that Jiser but I could not rate you on it.

    Nice guys can often lack the second which can let them down. Usually the most confident are the **sholes who end up treating a woman badly, although not always.

    It's a bit like in the animal world. The strongest who wins a fight ends up winning their mate.

    In the human world, it works on a different level, it is either the more confident or he who is financially successful. Again, this is not always the case and with equality between men and women becoming more evident in today's society and women becoming more dominant in the workplace, this can be said to be true for women winning over their man.. LOL

    That's drifting from the point but I thought it would be food for thought. I don't think it is that nice guys necessarily finish last. It is a question of balance and if you lose balance and become a walking doormat, puppy dog that has low self esteem, the yes, you will finish last or even not at all.

    You don't need to change who you are for someone else. If you are good and a genuinely nice person then why change that?

    What you (not referring to you personally) need to do is focus on how to build your confidence so that you can be attractive and still be who you are, THE NICE GUY.
  • Jun 24, 2007, 11:38 AM
    Geoffersonairplane
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by BigCityDreams007
    False... In my own experience i was the so called " Popular girl" in highschool I cheerleaded and i was all about partying lol... My boyfriend now was the band geek, played video games but was a sweet heart always told me when my boyfriends were jerks i just realized that this guy would do anything to make me happy and we have been together ever since but i could see why you say nice guys finish last, some girls just want bad boys.. lol

    See and not all women want the same thing.

    It is also a question of choosing the right woman.

    Value yourself and say to yourself, 'I don't want second best. If she does not want someone like me, she is not worthy of me and she can have second best'.

    It is an inner arrogance that I accept as being healthy as long as you keep it within.

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