Hello all

During my day when I feel relaxed I reflect on myself. I ask myself questions and answer them. Some of the things that I'm having issues with is accepting what I'm becoming. For an example a year ago I went through a breakup. After the breakup I joined a gym and lost a lot of weight because I didn't want to be chubby anymore. But looking at it now, I don't know if I honestly enjoy going to the gym or I just like being thin. I seem to be confused about so much stuff in life that it's driving me nuts. Religion, college, profession, hobbies, types of friends I want to be around. I use to make fun of people a lot but now I don't like doing it because I feel its wrong. But still again, part of me feels like I should make fun of people because it WAS me. I'm confused on if I should cuss anymore. I'm sort of offended when I hear the N word and before I use to say it myself. I'm always on the computer but part of me feels that I need to limit my time and do other things. But I feel that being on the computer all my life is apart of me. As a teenager I was somewhat a negative person but after the breakup I started to become positive. I'm even confused about if I enjoy being positive. I'm confused on being sensitive to comments I get about my flaws or if I should laugh and be happy being me. I guess because looking back and how I'm changing part of me still feels comfortable with the old me because it was what I was use to. What does a person do when everything seems so blurry and you don't know what you want to do with life or what person you want to become? You can't decide on anything. Even on the simple things like what you want to eat or my favorite color. I seem so lost. Any feedback is appreciate. Thanks!

Anybody? :(

Don't stress about it so much, just enjoy being you. Everyone changes constantly every day, it's part of life. What's wrong with being positive? I think it's great that you don't make fun of people anymore and you don't cuss as much, not only does it make people respect you more, it shows that you're more comfortable with yourself. Don't worry, you'll figure this all out eventually. From what I know the new you is ten times better than the old one. Figure out what makes you happy and go with it. I love my family, horses, volunteering and my closest friends. My life might not be the most exciting but it works for me ^_^

You sound like a very thoughtful person. I also think that you analyze things way too much. I have a tendency to do the same thing. It can bog a person down, both mentally and physically.

I am glad that you spend a part of your day on self-reflection. That is healthy. It's part of what I meant about you being thoughttful.

I am also glad that you are seeing some things in yourself that may not be the way to act, such as using swear words and making fun of people. Ever hear the following phrase? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." To be employed eventually in a desirable position somewhere, a person needs to exhibit qualities that make them desirable as employees. Make yourself indispensable!

You are trying to make choices in your life, that is a BIG part of life - making choices.

You are on the right path because you are now questioning the way that you have done things in the past as to whether they are right or wrong.

You are trying to carve a life out for yourself. Also, you are tying to find the person who you are and who you want to be. Be focused. You can't do everything. Concentrate on one thing at a time. Make time to, and also practice the things that you want to do really well. To do this, you may have to sacrifice some things. For instance, when I was in college, my goal was to be really good at playing the piano. I would practice from 6:00 to 12:00 every night - six hours. Now I am really good at playing the piano. And, I play for a major dance orchestra in the upper midwestern U.S. I also give programs for groups of people as well as private lessons. Obviously, I had to sacrifice some things in order to accomplish my goal as well as keep focused on it.

Keeping focused also takes practice and discipline. You are already demonstrating that you have some discipline. Add focus to that discipline.

No one can be friends with everyone. We are always going to have people who don't like us. It took someone telling me that in college for me to come to that realization. If someone is making fun of your flaws and they are not a friend, then what do they know? Brush it off. But, if someone is pointing out your flaws who happens to be a friend, you may need to take heed to their comments. An old saying is, "The best mirror is a friends eye."

You are already on your way. Keep up the good work!

By the way, great job on losing the weight!

I think you are in good way of changing your life, becoming better yourself. If you go to college, ask for counseling services. Usually they are for free or very reasonable price. You can have individual sessions as well as group sessions where you can share your feelings. Good luck to you!