My Brother is getting married and we want to include my father on the invitation,but he has passed away. Not sure of the wording. Should Mom be listed as Ms. Jane (John) Doe or John and Jane Doe?:confused:

Generally speaking, the name of the deceased parent is left off the wedding invitation. When you made you engagement annoucnement, that is when you have the name of the deceased parent.

For example:

One Parent Deceased
(Living parent not remarried)

Mrs. David Todd White
Requests the honour of your presence
At the marriage of her daughter
Eliza Rose
To
Matthew James Fischer
On Saturday, the first day of June
Two thousand and two
At five o'clock in the evening
St. Joseph's Church
Scottsdale, Arizona

The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Scottsdale

R.S.V.P.
123 Toby Lane
Scottsdale, Arizona


The wedding invitation should not have the name of the deceased parent. Instead, the wedding program is a nice place to put a prayer or poem in remembrance of your parent. Or perhaps a special lighting of the candle or displaying of a floral arrangement.

When using the full name it is traditional to use "Mrs. John Doe", "Mrs. Doe" or "Jane Doe". It used to not ever be acceptable to say "Mrs. Jane Doe" though it seems to be okay in contemporary times.

The excellent example above seems correct "Mrs. John Doe invites you...."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dingoz

My Brother is getting married and we want to include my father on the invitation,but he has passed away. Not sure of the wording. Should Mom be listed as Ms. Jane (John) Doe or John and Jane Doe?:confused:

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How ever she writes her name on a return address or when filling out a form. I know ladies whose husbands passed years ago and they are still Mrs. John Doe.

Sometimes it is worded Jane Doe and the late John Doe.

While a deceased person cannot invite someone to a special occasion (a little odd) they can be included in an acknowledgement as parents of the bride or groom.

This would be my suggestion for wording the invitation:

The honor or your presence is requested
To witness the joining in marriage of
Mary Sue Smith,
Daughter of Jane Smith, and the late David Smith
And
Jimmy John Jones
Son of Angela and James Jones


This way, the late individual is not actually issuing the invitation, but is acknowledged as the father of the bride.

I have seen deceased fathers honored in many ways at weddings such as with an empty space in the pew where he would have sat, the bride being escorted by his closest friend or brother, the bride walking alone or with her mother. Or a simple tribute can be included in the program. It can be as simple as a note from the bride and groom to the effect of:

To our friends and family, we thank you for joining us on this special day and invite you to share in our lives in the years to come. We especially miss Mary's father today, and will do our best to make him proud.

Will someone please provide me with the proper manners for the date that the widowed father brings to his son's wedding?

I found myself banned from most of the evening's events as I was not "bridal party".

Thoughts?

HNL90 you should probably post your question separately rather than piggy backing on this one to get more responses but I'm not sure what you would be banned from as the date of the father of the groom. You might not be included in all the family pictures but should be included in some photos. But the father of the groom usually does not play an active role in much of anything at the wedding except perhaps paying the bar bill, making a toast and helping to host and welcome people from the grooms side of the family and friends who are invited.

What have you been banned from specifically? I can't imagine a thing.