Damned if I do, damned if I don't!
Obviously, this isn't a new subject. And unfortunately I don't think it'll ever go away. So here's my story, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I'm almost 22.. I have a little boy who will be 5 this summer. I'm planning on getting married in May of 08. My soon to be husband would like to adopt my son, who he has been raising for the last year. My son's dad and I were off and on until he was about 2. Then I left, the situation was bad, drugs and alcohol were involved and I wasn't happy. He went to jail for 6 months and ever since he has made no effort to try and be a part of his son's life. I filed for child support on the advice of my parents, and to obtain Child care assistance so I could continue my education. Come to find out, when I had to update my child care and needed proof that I had a court ordered child support case open to keep my child care, the man that was supposed to court order it, NEVER did and was fired. No at the child support office felt the need to contact me and make me aware that no further action on my case would be taken. (Partly my fault, I should have followed up) But I didn't and I was just another case that slipped through. So now almost 3 years later, I have a court date on April 11th for child support. I have talked to him, he did say he would be there. But now my anxiety is about to make me sick. As it gets closer, I am freaking out. I don't want him, to 3 years later have access to a child he hasn't given crap about, hasn't made any effort to contact me, hasn't paid me anything accept maybe a total of 500 bucks for day care here and there, and that is only because he's mom and grandma were harassing him to do it because I wasn't letting my son go over to their house anymore. Which I'm still not doing. I've come to a point where I want him to sign over his rights, and I won't ask for any money, just to see him walk away for good. I don't want him to decided 5 years from now, that he wants to finally wants to play daddy, when Drake has a dad. One that loves him just as if he was his own. I can't have him disrupting a life I've worked so hard to have for my family. What do I do? Do we go to court, do I asked for sole custody, do I make them pull up his felons and tell them all the stories I have about my song found a weed pipe in his drive way and handing it to me. DO I Fight him tooth and nail for every dime he has and HOPE one day he doesn't decided he's going to come in and trash everything I've worked so hard for. Or do I ask him to sign over his rights and not expect a dime for him. I feel like either way I'm damned. When my son is 18 is he going to look at me and say, "Why the hell did you let than man in my life" or "Why the hell wasn't he allowed to see me?" I'm stuck.. and sick...