Boyfriend was molested as a child.
A few months after my ex and I started dating he confided in me and told me that he had been molested as a boy. He was about 12 or 13 years old and his father was absent in his life. He lived with his grandmother and had a big brother from church. He used to spend the night with his big brother and one night he was molested by him. He was afraid to tell anyone and when he did his grandmother took action against the man.
Fast forward now to present time. My current boyfriend just reviled to me that he was molested when he was about 14. Kind of the same situation. His father was absent in his life and his mother and he were active in a church. One of the men from church who his mom trusted had offered to spend the night with him and his family. This man was married and had kids my boyfriends age. That night he started drinking with him and by the end of the night he had molested him. Yea, he shouldn't have been drinking but he was longing for a father figure and thought that he was safe. Well, he now blames God for this and will not go to church. It has been about 15 years since this happened and I want him to start going to church with me but he won't because of that.
Does anyone know what I should say to him to make him fell like it isn't his fault and to help him start going to church again? His mother told him that if he wouldn't have been drinking then it wouldn't have happened and that it was his fault because he disobeyed her by drinking. He knows that it is not his fault though, he was a kid. That dude was a grown man. I just don't know how to talk to him about all of this. I never knew how to talk to my ex about it either. Does anyone have any suggestions?
I also would like to know if anyone else knows a young boy who has been molested. Both of the men that I have fallen in love with have been molested. That is strange to me. I wonder how many people it actually happens too. Thanks in advance for your advice.