I'm not suicidal, but I want to die.

Preferably a "natural" death. I would rather not it be violent or catastrophic. But I will accept

Whatever my creator or destiny or faith have in store for me.

Why do I want to die sooner sometimes? Because I hate the skin
I'm in.

I used to beautiful, eyes, hair, nose, lips, dusky skin. But I hated the skintone. I tried to be like MJ

For the past year and now that 2012 is here, I realize some things just aren't possible.

I don't know if I can live like this. I know I will not give up. But I do hate myself. Whatever happened to 2012

Supposedly bringing higher spiritual vibrations. What do I have to do to get some inner peace.

Please don't tell me jesus or light activation, I have friends who help me with those already. Thanks.