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-   -   Regret about not confessing... now he's attached... (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=716730)

  • Nov 14, 2012, 08:10 AM
    lovepolis
    Regret about not confessing... now he's attached...
    Dear guys

    I reall need some wise advice here especialls from the guys point of view.

    1 yr ago... guy A & guy B were pursuing me at the same time. I went on a date with guy A and it turned out to be nice.Guy A actually confessed to me the next day after our date that he likes me and that he just wanted me to know about his feelings so that he won't regret later on in his life that he has never told me before. Guy B was very aggressive and pursue me a lot more and made it very obvious among our friends. By the way we all belong to the same cycling club.

    In the end I was so touched by Guy B's sincerity in wanting to try out a relationship with me I took the plunge. During this 1 yr being with guy B things were tough... we had a lot of ups and downs together. But I still always wanted to work things out together as a couple. But I must admit that during this 1 yr once in a while a little question mark in my head would surface and I would be asking myself what would have happened if I had given more time to Guy A in getting to know him more before deciding on who I wanted to be with more. What would my life be like. But since I was attached every time a thought like this surfaced I would suppress it and throw it out of the window and not entertain it further since I am attached to Guy B I want to be faithful to him.

    About 2 months ago... I ended the relationship with Guy B becoz I can no longer work out our differences...

    And this question mark in my head just started brewing and getting bigger to a point its making me upset. I heard from a friend that Guy A is now attached but also in a rough relationship.

    During this 1 yr when I was with Guy B, I know somehow Guy A would still look our for me a lot. Like whenever I am left behind a ride he would wait for me and etc.And he would actually still look at me in a way that I think he still has something for me... but becoz my relationship with Guy B is so open... theres absolutely no way he could even have a chance to date me.

    I feel like telling Guy A that all this while I was interested in seeing him more but I just didn't have the opportunity... or should I just shut up and move on without telling him about it since he's attached ? I mean I don't need anything out of this... but I just want to get this out of my chest.. .

    What should I do... what should I say?
  • Nov 14, 2012, 12:53 PM
    The Icester
    You should talk to him. Tell him that you were interested in him all along, but never had the opportunity to tell him. Also, you know he's attached, so say that you don't expect anything from him and that you just wanted to tell him how you feel to get it off your chest.
  • Nov 20, 2012, 05:24 AM
    lovepolis
    Ups
  • Nov 20, 2012, 01:51 PM
    slapshot_oi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by The Icester
    You should talk to him. Tell him that you were interested in him all along, but never had the opportunity to tell him.

    This is terrible advice!

    To lovepolis: you're on the rebound, don't tell Guy A damn thing.

    Because your relationship with Guy B was poor, you played the hypothetical game and, in your mind, you created an ideal relationship with Guy A. However, if you actually start a relationship with Guy A and it doesn't meet your expectations, then you'll quickly lose interest and you'll end up breaking his heart a second time.

    You chose not to date Guy A from the beginning for a reason.

    Stay away!

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