At age 2 1/2 my son walked in on me having sex in the middle of the night. It has been over 2 years sense then however he has been acting out recently at the baby sitters only. He goes to preschool and other places with no problems, was he sexually asalted or was it by walking in on me at a young age?

A lot of children walk in on their parents making love together. Me included! It happens a lot. I was sexually abused as a child but did lead to issues. When I was in public school my grades slipped. I was depressed a lot. Was clingy with my mother. Didn't want to be left alone with the person who abused me.

I would suggest that you talk to your son. ASk him if anyone hurt him or touched him where his bathing suit covers and tell him you won't be mad. Children always tell the truth.

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Originally Posted by JustBreathe555

was he sexually asalted or was it by walking in on me at a young age?

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Hello J:

Neither. For generations upon generations before we had bedrooms, children saw their parents having sex. Nothing bad happened.

Why would you assume acting out is the result of being sexually abused? Do you know something?

excon

I could go into a entire list of things that can cause bad behavior, including walking in on parents if it was not handled correctly. If one just said, mom and dad are busy, go on to bed. Got up put on a robe and put him back to bed
Nothing, happens every day 100's of times.

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Originally Posted by geminichick

I would suggest that you talk to your son. ASk him if anyone hurt him or touched him where his bathing suit covers and tell him you won't be mad. Children always tell the truth.

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Unfortunately I have found that children do NOT always tell the truth. Some are more truthful than others.

I would also be very careful about putting thoughts in the child's mind.

Does the OP have some gut reaction, knowledge, that something is or has been going on sexually involving the child?

Children always tell the truth. Why do you think when something serious happens the police always believes a child over an adult. YOu should always believe a child when their being abused. This a serious mistake.

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Originally Posted by geminichick

Children always tell the truth. Why do you think when something serious happens the police always believes a child over an adult. YOu should always believe a child when their being abused. This a serious mistake.

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I'm an investigator. The Police do not always believe a child over an adult. Children are very easily influenced. Children lie to stay out of trouble. Children are often more easily confused than adults.

I have spoken to children concerning abuse.

I DO speak to children, in the presence of a parent, of course. I DO speak with children concerning both criminal and civil matters. I HAVE spoken with a child/children in the presence of the Police.

Yes, if a child is being abused, believe the child. Unless you KNOW the child is being abused (there are other witnesses, there is an admission of "guilty") do not 100% believe the child.

Your background and experience in this are obviously very different from mine. Are you involved in law enforcement or the legal system?

Hold it. Hold it... I'm not meaning to offend you. I'm only speaking as a victim of sexual abuse. People didn't believe me because they thought I lied. Yes that's true that children can be influenced. No. I'm not a cop. I'm only answered back to you because you challenged me. Besides everyone has the right to their opinion. My opinion is just as valid as yours. Besides this is a place to help people. Not to run down peoples throats. I have better things to do than argue with you. I haelp people by my own life expereinces. Thank you

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Originally Posted by geminichick

Hold it. Hold it..........I'm not meaning to offend you. I'm only speaking as a victim of sexual abuse. People didn't believe me because they thought I lied. Yes that's true that children can be influenced. No. I'm not a cop. I'm only answered back to you because you challenged me. Besides everyone has the right to their opinion. My opinion is just as valid as yours. Besides this is a place to help people. Not to run down peoples throats. I have better things to do than argue with you. I haelp people by my own life expereinces. Thankyou

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Hold it?

I'm neither offended nor starting an argument with you. As you said, we are all here to "haelp people by my (our) life expereinces." I didn't challenge you - I disagreed with you. ("I'm only answered back to you because you challenged me.") Every disagreement is not a challenge.

As far as "Besides everyone has the right to their opinion," I agree. You posted yours and I posted mine - and then this dialogue began.

My life experience in this particular case is education and work experience. I also was the victim of sexual assault, but that doesn't change whether I believe every child.

Every person who does not agree with you is not starting an argument with you.

You made a statement that a child should ALWAYS be believed. I find that to be incorrect.

I'm sorry about your past abuse and that no one believed you. I don't think that translates to your flat out statement that children should ALWAYS be believed and that's why the Police believe children over adults. Your exact statement is: "Why do you think when something serious happens the police always believes a child over an adult." They don't - that's what I don't think that.

Both statements to the best of my experience are incorrect.

Judy;

I absolutely apologize. I was out of line. Thank you for correcting me.