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-   -   My boyfriend acts like a different person when other people are around (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=547944)

  • Jan 25, 2011, 11:38 PM
    DanielleMc
    My boyfriend acts like a different person when other people are around
    My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. We have had our problems (he is passive aggressive, jealous, a bad parent to his 6 year old duaghter- allowing lying, manipulation, giving her more power than adults- while my 7 year old son is there to witness) and he's has claimed that he will change. Wanting to believe a change, I sold my house and bought one with him (putting all my money from the sale of my house into renovating the new house) and now it's gotten worse. I feel like the worst part is that he is more concerned with playing out his case to others (my friends) so they can judge then he is with making things better and talking to me. Not only does it make me resent him, but it also makes people uncomfortable. I don't know what to do. I can't afford this house on my own, but I have put all my money into this house and feel like I can't walk away...
  • Jan 26, 2011, 09:41 AM
    talaniman

    You can walk away, and take half the sale of the new house for yourself. Or he can buy your half, and still move away. But you can leave whenever you want, but to stay in a situation for financial reasons, and without a plan to leave is not doing any one any good.

    So see a lawyer, get your rights, and formulate a plan that works for YOU!
  • Jan 26, 2011, 01:57 PM
    answerme_tender

    This isn't about just you, its about the right environment for you child. Thinking that someone is going to change their poor behavior just because we are in their lives now is nothing but a fantasy!!

    Your instinct about this guy must have been screaming before you ever moved in with him. Now that you have, its time to find out your legal rights and go from there.

    Have you tried to sit down and talk with him about getting some counseling? I would just explain what you are feeling and only if he agrees to counseling will you continue to work on this relationship. BUT FIRST KNOW YOUR LEGAL RIGHTS, before having this talk with him.

    Take care
  • Jan 27, 2011, 01:35 PM
    Jayjay027
    I agree with the above posts. This doesn't seem like a good environment for your child to be in at all, let alone yourself.
    Seek legal advice, then have a sit down, no-nonsense talk with him. Tell him you don't like how he acts and have seriously considered leaving, and that you know where you stand legally if you did decide to leave.
    Let him know that you are not a push-over, and that you really mean business.
    His reaction to that talk will tell you everything you need to know about where to take it from there.

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