Is my marrige worth fixing?
I have been married for about five yrs. I recently adopted a son from a young friend right at birth as I have been unsuccessful to conceive on my own. My husband was my night in shinning armor and my best friend from the moment I laid eyes on him. We had a money poor rough start and with in a month of being together we moved to a different state where my family is located. (He really doesn't have family other than a sister we haven't heard from since we moved).
Anyway things were great until him normal since day one drinking got worse... the first 3yrs he had cheated on me with several woman and it crushed my world. He promised he'd quit drinking if I stayed. That lasted a whole 3 months. Well when he drinks he's always sneaky about it. I quit drinking before I was 21 so I kind of resent alcohol and at first thought it was just my biased opinion. But it started getting worse. He gets mad when I say anything when he's drinking and it always starts with hateful names and belittling and 6 out of 10 times it ends with physical abuse.
Recently he added a new touch of choking and it terrifies me beyond just the hitting and throwing around. The next morning its always I'm sorry baby I was wrong bs... But I have too much pride in how our relationship looks in the public that I never share the bad with anyone not family nor friend. Never have and don't know if I even could. I make him look like the perfect man. But he's not. He tells me he's going to run to the store 2 blocks away and he'll leave at 4pm and come home at 3am and think I'm the one with a problem.
We recently got in trouble and because of his past record he ended up going to prison for a yr. I worked the 80 work week to provide for him and I and preparing for my son (he was 5.months when my husband got out of prison).. since he got out of prison its been to the same thing and he refuses to wear his wedding ring saying its normal for a man not to or its normal for a man to be out all night drinking and I'm just trying to hold him back and being his mama and all that crap. Well keep in mind its about 3 nights a week he does this. Doesn't matter on the day of the week.
I tell him husbands are suppose to be home with their family.. he always seems to do it on bad days for me like when. I get bad news or am sick... does it on my birthdays seems like anything important to me he's got to screw up... I just don't know what to do anymore I'm 27 and having to start on blood pressure medication cause I'm so stressed...
I just think he's 31 he should be grown up but I'm so wrong. I just can't see myself with out him but in the same words I know I don't deserve to be around someone that refuses to help themselves out of alcoholism or bad habits. He's on parole and I have to worry about him getting and trouble with his drinking and going back to prison. I keep track of all his legal matters or anything in his life and I just wish I would grow a man in him one day but when do I say enough is enough. Please help