My Aunt raised me from kindergarten till 3rd grade. I love her very much. I haven't seen her in a very long time, although we have kept in touch with pictures and letters and cards
She has passed away at 83, which has broke my heart, and I believe it is for her loss and mine.
She is going to be cremated and a memorial service will be in 2 months. The service is a full day plane ride from where I live, so my question is... what are your opinions
In my mind I am thinking she knows how much I love her and there is no need to go to the service, but on the other hand.. I can't imagine not going to the service. I have been thinking that the service is almost more for the grieving relatives, but at this point they will be over the big shock (like I am) We are still grieving and will be for a while, but is it necessary? This might sound a little callous, but I really can't afford to go. So I would like some opinions please.

If you can't afford to go, then you can't. Memorial services give loved ones a chance to talk about the person who died. Telling stories and hearing things each person experienced is very comforting to many. It's a choice you have time to make.

Sorry for your loss. My opinion (its free) but if you can afford it then do so. The reason is you may hear stories shared and memories returned that will stay with you always. You may also think its over but in reality when you go you will grieve and provide closure for yourself. She helped raise you and this means a huge sacrifice and chunk of her life went into your thinking process. If you can't afford to go then send flowers and letters to whom you can and thank you notes if there is a register signing provided there is no conflict with anyone else doing so. Just be sure to gain closure on this or you may end up kicking yourself for hasty decisions.

I'm sorry to hear this. When my dad died suddenly of a massive heart attack in 1994, I was not able to go to his funeral because of a horrible snowstorm in his area (it had just gone through mine, so travel was iffy). In fact, only very local people made it to the service. I had been communicating with him by mail and by phone, and so I decided he, more than anyone else, would understand why I didn't go to the funeral. That sounds somewhat like your situation, too.

You should go to the service for sure. I know exactly how you feel. I had lost my boyfriend but I had not gone to his last rights. Which still hurts me lot but more importantly what makes me feel bad that I haven't expressed by thoughts and gratitude for him. So go there and if your sense allowed then speak your heart.

You are the only one who can answer this, because it depends on how much you feel you need the connection with other family. I wouldn't go. I didn't go to the funeral of the person I loved so very dearly, my father, even though the service was 3 miles from me, and other relatives came from as far as 3,000 miles. Because he was in his 90s, it was more a 'celebration' of his life than a funeral, and I was still much too sad to celebrate.

Thank you all, I didn't (couldn't) go, but sent a letter that my other Aunt read at the Memorial. My Niece attended and represented myself and my Brother who was working and couldn't leave. I just received pictures and wonderful things that were written about her. :)

I'm so glad you came back and posted this - it sounds like you are healing.

It's not about how we handle ourselves when people die. It's how we were toward them when they were alive. You obviously loved your aunt very much, and I'm sure she knew that.

Peace.