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-   -   Should I / how do I tell my parents the whole story? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=837568)

  • Mar 4, 2018, 08:36 PM
    wrestling97girl
    Should I / how do I tell my parents the whole story?
    I didn’t mean to lie but was worried by parents might be mad / not approve of me hanging out with those friends anymore ( and I still live with them), as those friends/ past teammates drink a lot and my parents rarely drink.

    So I’m almost 21 ( drinking age where I live is 19) and The most I’ve drank at once before Friday was one drink and a few sips of friends drinks and the most my parents have seen/ know of me drinking is two sips of their drink.
    So this weekend my hometown ( where I still live) was hosting a big wrestling tournament and a lot of alumni wrestlers ( some of my teammates from high school) were there. On the Friday night there was a social for all the coaches/ volunteers at a casino. I went and most of the people there were old enough to be my parents (So I wasn’t planning on drinking ( drove myself there) but around 10 people closer to/ my age were there so I decided to have 1 drink...
    The next day I told my parents that I had 1 drink got a taxi to a different bar with friends that was open later and had a 2nd drink and one shot and got a ride home with a friends parents at 2am when that bar closed. They were surprised said they couldn’t picture me having a shot,was a typical girl only paying for one drink and joked about the people I was with being a bad influence on me ( but laughed and were OK not mad about what happened ).
    What I left out was the reason I ended up going in a taxi to a different bar was because I walked in a group to a nearby bar and two of the guys I was hanging out with got there first and the bar wouldn’t serve them and when I went in with some more people one of those guys was with us so the bar wouldn’t serve any of us. So that’s why we ended getting cabs to a different bar (that ended up serving multiple drinks to the guys the other bar had cut off) I also actually drank 3 drinks and had 2 shots.
    So what I told them was true just not the whole story. ( well expect for I drank more than I told them about).
  • Mar 5, 2018, 05:21 AM
    Oliver2011
    Is it your intention to give your parents every detail of every day of your life? Part of growing up is making your own decisions and dealing with whatever comes from those decisions. Part of being a parent is allowing you to make those decisions. Today is a new day so move forward. At the end of the day the parts you left out aren't going to mean much anyway.
  • Mar 5, 2018, 06:27 AM
    talaniman
    You're an adult now, so what's the big deal about keeping your business to yourself. You're tripping about telling your parents about 2 drinks instead of 3 (And a couple of shots.)? You're making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.
  • Mar 5, 2018, 10:27 AM
    wrestling97girl
    I know the part about how much I drank isn’t a big deal but I left out the part about how we walked to a 2nd bar and some of the people I was with tried to order and were told they were cut off and then the staff told the whole group I was with that they had called for taxis and although I wasn’t told I was cut off ( didn’t try to order) the staff walked away from the group I was with and made it clear they wouldn’t serve any of us (me included). So then we got taxis to a different bar that servered all of us.
    So there is a chance someone might tell my parents that part of the story (it’s a small town) and if they hear it from someone else they will probably assume I got cut off because I left out that part of the story and told them I didn’t buy any of the drinks I had at the other bar.
    So I think my parents would not be impressed/ be mad if they know that part of the story. ( and I live with them so I still have to follow their rules)
  • Mar 5, 2018, 12:02 PM
    talaniman
    You're right they would not be impressed, or happy about you breaking the rules. No parent would be. What do YOU think YOU should do? Did you learn anything from this experience? How will you handle yourself moving forward? Yeah one of your little so called friends could squeal on you, then what?

    Darned if you do, darned if you don't, so make a decision and own it.
  • Mar 5, 2018, 12:55 PM
    wrestling97girl
    I guess your right that I just need to make a decision to tell them or not. They might be mad if I do because I probably should have gone home instead of going with my friends to a different bar after they were cut off. But thinking about it none of my friends are going to tell my parents but if I don’t tell them there is a chance some of the older adults from the original social who went to the 2nd bar might mention something to my parents as they are close to my parents age and talk to each other sometimes ( and it wouldn’t occur to them that I hadn’t told my parents as so many people did know about it that it was not a secret and I was never actually cut off). I probably won’t end up telling them but also will probably not drink or make plans to hang out with those friends anytime soon.
  • Mar 5, 2018, 04:13 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Parents do not need to know at your age, everything you are doing. You tell them you were out with friends and had a couple drinks. They need not to know a detail blow by blow of your night

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