How do I get him to admit to sexting without telling him I saw the messages?
I have been in an open relationship with this guy for 14 month and then 3 months ago he came to me saying that he wanted to be in a committed relationship with me. I know he keeps ex's as friends, and I have no issues with that at all.
Over the past few weeks I have noticed a lot of texts coming in from his last girl very frequently, and more over at very late hours (2-3 am). I know him too well, he sends text messages earlier and then when I'm there he ignores them.
So the other night I'm with him, go the bathroom and his phone is buzzing with 3 missed texts from this girl. I am not one to snoop, it's one of my rules not go snooping for **** can things can be taken out of context etc... however I finally broke down and looked. The message was nothing other than incriminating that there was very very inappropriate talk between them.
She was asking why, after some dirty texting on what he wanted to do to her, was he ignoring her?" Answer - I was there. So, I called him out that I had very strong suspicions about what was going on and unless he came clean about it we had a big problem.
I wanted to know why he was doing this. Instead of addressing or saying can we talk about this later, he broke up with me because I was causing him problems while be occupied with work and family. As that may be the worst time to say something about the issues, the least he could have done is said something to just hold on until he can give this his complete attention. Instead he gets mad, says he has no tolerance for this timing and tells me we're done. ***? This comes from someone that willingly asked for my commitment, tells me he is in love with me and that I am his best friend.
We spoke briefly days later and all he would focus on was the timing of me bringing this to his attention. He had to get off the phone but said we will discuss more later. What the hell do I do with this? I love him so much and have never been with anyone that I have had so much in line with. We never fight about anything, we never has issues until now. HELP?
Comment on talaniman's post
Those are very wise words and I sincerely appreciate them. You're completely on track with him doing the usual run around with me as he has done with others in the past and I'm being stupid thinking that I am going to be the one that's different for him . Already I see him building up a new rotation through his behaviors on Facebook. He's so see through, yet I'm a sucker because I love him so.
Any advice on how to stifle the craziness and pain of loss of what I thought once was and has clearly turned out to be a mirage?