Sure everyone says to move and of course it is the best thing to do. But how do you really move on even after you've moved on? Let me explain. Suppose you are in a new relationship and you hear your new partner say, "I can't wait to see you later!". You've heard these words from you ex and now you think "wow, this can be over at any point just like the last one". Whether I make a mistake or she does or if either one has a change of heart. So how do you get over those fears? Sure I have the excuse that although I had great moments of laughter and happy moments, we had REALLY bad ones too. But for others who just had it good most of the time, how do they deal with it when they've had it harder? I loved my ex more than anything, and tried so hard to make it work. Once I got her flowers after an argument and I told her sorry for yesterday it's just that blah blah blah... then she said I don't want to talk about it, so I just finished the last sentence and from a smiling face she walked away from the $60 flowers I got her and she wouldn't stop walking away. Then started cursing me out and crying and yelled at me in public for the 100th time. I was like what is your problem? I could never get through to her. I just wanted everything to be fine. Oh well... I still miss her but it's getting a little easier day by day. I just get scared of making new memories with someone else to then fall into their decptions and clever cover stories!

I feel the same way to Emo, I guess that's the chance we all have to take.

Every relationship you get into whether friends or lovers you take a chance. If you didn't life wouldn't exist!

Its so hard to getinto a new relationship but if you had arguments in your previous relationship emo then this one can only be better for you. Arguing is not a reltionship I've learnt that from my first ex we argued all the time very unhealthy wasn't even a relationsghip wentonn 4 years, you will definatelty feel betterthis time. But diont get o comfortable with the new one, I got a new one and it was like you totally different no arguing and plenty of space it was great and then she left after 3 years so it just shows you can do it easy and have no arguing and then they leave for some different reason now that's hard to get over cause when you have a relationship where you don't argue you then findit hard to be with people eho do argue. Good luck with the new I=one

TAKE IT SLOW~~~~~

It's called emotional baggage. If you live in fear of what "could happen" then you don't really experience the relationship that "could be". Letting go of fears and moving on is one of the hardest things to do.

Emotional baggage, as AW has said can make us so afraid, we miss out on many good things, and actually defeat our own happiness. It is so important to take the time to get healthy, to be strong enough to face our fears, and move beyond that fear, and on to better things, and find our own happiness. Fear keeps us stuck in place and confused, and if we can overcome it we know what we need to do, and can do. A little fear is always necessary to keep us safe, but too much can paralyze us. The hard part is keeping the balance between safe and healthy, and stuck and stupid.

I think it would take a long time to get past some of these things. The pain is fresh and on the surface. Maybe you need to take more time to be just you. It may suck to be alone right now because you may feel like there is something missing inside... but take the time to sort through your emotions... figure out the problems that arose in the last relationship. If you get out of one relationship and don't take a hard look at what happened, you may just suffer the same problems that you did in the last one.

But lets say you do take the time and learn from the last one. You find the right girl and some of the same problems arise. You will know what didn't work. It could save you some heart ache and your relationship.

Thanks everyone! I came into work this morning and just started thinking about her again. It doesn't go away. I keep thinking I won't find anybody like her. We played sports together, hung out at the beach. She stood out till anytime with me. We'd go for drives and do it anywhere. We did what we wanted and we had a great time. Studied together. So many good memories. But why can't I think of all the bad? Like one time I got into a car accident and she called her family to get advice and she didn't want me around so she got upset and was leaving home and I said I'm the man because I was upset and she said yea a man without a car. And another time she cursed me out severely in public but the good is more realistic in my mind. The bad is remembered but doesn't play so clearly. Why am I still thinking of her. What hurts the most is that she said she will never leave. She swore and then she took a week break and I guess she liked being apart and after a week she puts some guy as number 4 on her myspace and a whole bunch of friends from her church that I have no idea of. She changed so quickly. She said she's happier without the fighting. I hate it because she was always the psycho one and to see that I was suppose to be the one to break up with her, I didn't because I loved her. Yet she makes it seem like she is okay and she made the right decision because we were fighting. Oh please. She started most fights and couldn't get over anything and acted crazy anywhere. Still I was crazy about her and her body and everything. But it makes no sense how she is happy and making mature choices yet she couldn't with me. I know she is going to make the next guy miserable too. As miserable as she made me, I found happiness... I guess love is blind.

Realising that everyone is different and that we share the same language and have an overlap with some of our desires is a big start to this one too...