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-   -   Friend makes fun of friend (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=89881)

  • May 6, 2007, 07:28 PM
    randomguy19
    Friend makes fun of friend
    My friend is always asking why we never hang out anymore.. He tells people that I ignore him. Well is this a good reason? Every time I'm around him or I talk to him he always brings up one of my flaws. He always makes fun of me about it and jokes about it. All my life I was teased about this yet he still continues to talk about it. I know that he knows it bothers me but yet he still does it. When I'm around him he makes me out to be an idiot and slower then him. Is this a real reason to stop hanging around this friend? Other then this, he is a very great friend and fun to hang around. But this is really bothering me and makes me feel unattractive and like crap.
  • May 6, 2007, 07:54 PM
    Bluerose
    Yes that is a very good reason not to want to hang around someone. Especially since it has been pointed out just how much it annoys you. No one should be allowed to bring you down like that and undermine your confidence. Move on and seek out friends who are more positive and helpful.
  • May 6, 2007, 08:11 PM
    Thomas1970
    I had a friend like that for 18 years. I used to tell myself that all that time counted for something, that loyalty took some odd precedence over his often uncontrolled behavior. But in the end, I realize I really am better off without him, and that he was never really all that much of a true friend.
    Essentially your friend is very insecure within himself, and as long as you stick unconditionally by him through such times, he will never really learn to help himself. Perhaps you don't necessarily have to part from him immediately or completely if he seems willing to modify his behavior appreciably with some fairly substantial time apart -- but if he continues on in the way he has, it is not at all healthy for either of you. You can do far better.
    Have compassion for him, but don't ever let him bring you down. Everyone deserves a chance, but it seems you have given him a great deal of that already.
    Good luck. Take care.
  • May 6, 2007, 08:41 PM
    LuvMyMaltipoo
    He doesn't sound like anyone I would call MY friend. Throughout your life you will call a lot of people your friends and eventually you will come across those people that don't deserve your time. You can still be nice to him, but just tell him that you don't think friends should treat each other that way. You will never have to question a good friend's actions.
  • May 6, 2007, 08:43 PM
    krystal1973
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by randomguy19
    My friend is always asking why we never hang out anymore.. He tells people that I ignore him. Well is this a good reason? Everytime I'm around him or I talk to him he always brings up one of my flaws. He always makes dun of me about it and jokes about it. All my life I was teased about this yet he still continues to talk about it. I know that he knows it bothers me but yet he still does it. When I'm around him he makes me out to be an idiot and slower then him. Is this a real reason to stop hanging around this friend? Other then this, he is a very great friend and fun to hang around. But this is really bothering me and makes me feel unattractive and like crap.

    Tell your friend how you feel, and ask him not to treat you that way. Tell him it hurts your feelings if it does. Do not retaliate and say mean things to him, it won't make you any better of a person. If it makes you feel better to ignore him for awhile, after you tell him at least he will know why you are doing it. Don't worry about what he is telling other people about the reasons you are hanging out with him.
  • May 7, 2007, 04:09 AM
    isabelle
    This sounds like a toxic person for you. I have always been advised to stay away from people who make me feel bad. I think this is good advice. I don't feel this is a friend, as friends make us feel good about ourselves.
    You sound like a very perceptive person and I feel you deserve much better friends.
  • May 7, 2007, 09:02 AM
    templelane
    Think of this

    "your best friends are not always the people who are best for you, just the people you met first"

    Ditch him, you could do so much better. One thing I have learnt in life is never put up with people who make you feel bad. The others are right.
  • May 7, 2007, 09:12 AM
    Matt3046
    Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.


    -Murphy
  • May 7, 2007, 12:37 PM
    randomguy19
    Thanks guys... I felt like maybe it was just me and maybe I should laugh with him about it, even though it really makes me feel bad. He wasn't like this when we first met, then eventually this became a habit. I don't have that many friends either.
  • May 7, 2007, 02:35 PM
    Matt3046
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by randomguy19
    Thanks guys... I felt like maybe it was just me and maybe I should laugh with him about it, even though it really makes me feel bad. He wasn't like this when we first met, then eventually this became a habit. I don't have that many friends either.


    You will
  • May 25, 2007, 03:38 AM
    Josh777
    Have you told him that this is bothering you. Not 3 words you are anoyying. No a real conversation?
  • Oct 10, 2007, 07:32 AM
    breyegrl
    Once you start to put yourself out there to meet new people you will find more friends. Your situation reminds me of a saying that mom used to tell me when a "friendship" went sour: With friends like that who needs enemies
  • Nov 19, 2007, 06:52 AM
    70ssue
    I use to have a so called friend like yours. She use to run me down all the time, mainly because I was shy, until one day I couldn't take anymore and told her what I think of her. She never picked on me after that. I lost her friendship, but I know that she wasn't a real friend.
    You're better off without him.
  • Sep 29, 2009, 09:17 PM
    holyangel17

    It is OK to have few friends who are good friends than many friends who are not good to you! Even I have only 3 or 4 friends that I consider friends; sometimes, it is hard to let people in your inner circle especially if you got hurt before... Anyway, you will be fine without him. If he is hurting you, it is better to not be friends with him. However, you should directly let him know why you are not going to be friends with him anymore rather than avoiding him. That way, he will realize his mistake and will see you are a strong person who could stand up for yourself and you will be better without him :)

    Hope this helps!
  • Sep 30, 2009, 01:17 PM
    rnrg

    A TRUE friend will always have your best interest at heart. He will not berate you, belittle you, or intimidate you. A TRUE friend will champion you, instead of attack. He will defend your honor before others, instead of tear you down in front of them.

    It has been said that those that make fun of others and say hurtful things, do so because they think it makes them look better in the sight of those listening. This is so attention can be drawn away from their own faults and pointed to someone else.

    You have been a true friend by sticking with this person. Now be a better friend by "having a talk" with this fellow, in a way that he can understand. Be firm and stand strong and let him know where you stand. If he can't change his ways, move on without him. Let this be a lesson is growing up and look to the next friend that will come in your path. Choose them wisely. Real friends can stick closer than brothers or sisters. And, you can enjoy them for a lifetime.
  • Dec 30, 2009, 08:53 PM
    mystiqu

    Obviously he's not a good friend

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