Why am I disliking people around me so much?
Since the past few months I have been questioning my friendships a lot.
I feel incredibly lonely and isolated.
- My friends from University (we all graduated last summer and now live in different cities), they all have boyfriends/girlfriends and are moving in with their partners. Not really up for plans/talking to me. I feel ignored.
- I moved to a new city, I put myself out there and made a couple of friends/acquaintances. None of them initiate conversations/plans and it is always me who has to put in effort. I sometimes feel like I am begging them to be my friends and in turn I feel it makes me look extremely desperate.
- People at work, I work in a very small team hence less options available. I am the youngest member in my team (22y) and most of them have families/babies/partners so there is no scope for hanging out after work.
- People back home in my country, I used to have friends when I was younger but they started bullying me and as a consequence I have developed social anxiety around certain members in my hometown which makes me feel even more isolated as I fear seeing them. This makes my parents feel embarrassed of me since everyone calls me a loner. So whenever I do go home, I just stay at home with my sister whilst getting judged by people around me due to my refusal of being around people who are toxic to my well-being. I try, I really try hard to be positive.
Anyways, the whole point is how do I get out of this rut and stop hating everyone around me? I feel extremely frustrated and tearful sometimes. Is there a solution to this problem or is this a part of the turbulent early 20's life?
Thank you for reading.