My situation started in May 2007. I am in my late 40's and my boyfriend (in his early 40's), now fiancé had gone to meet my family at a birthday family function. He was very enticed with my sister's best friend. It really hurt. His head spinned around like it was going to fall off. It was evident that they were both attracted to each other. This woman, Mrs. M is married, beautiful, and very stunning. I told him that I was not young in my 30's as this woman is and if that is what he wanted then to go and find what he is looking for. He has told me several times that is not what he wants, but when we are out, he uncontrollably stares at women with this certain profile. He still stares at her a lot when we go to family functions to the point of me getting nauseated. I won't even go to my family functions. We are to wed in the near future, but I get this immense fear when he does this. Granted he tells me that he is working on this. It has been difficult for me to cope with this situation. I made an appointment to go to counseling. We got his items in from storage and Mrs. M looks like his ex-wife, so this explains a lot. HELP!

Well personally I believe in the look but don't touch policy. It is a little rude wo constantly be checking out other women while with you, but sometimes it's a little uncontrolable. I can't really give you advice on how to stop him as you've already been honest with him about it. I hardly think this is grounds to split with him though. If he's honest about tryign, things should get better. In the meantime, by him a pair of dark tinted sunglasses so you can't see where he is looking. (half joking) Actually a lot of guys already know this little trick, wear sunglasses and look with your eyes not your whole head. Disappointed that we are bred to be visually stimulated? Some women call in inexcusable, I call it genetics. It may sound like I'm being a smarta$$ here, but I don't mean to be. I understand how it can make you feel. I can be a jealous guy. He may be looking, but his heart is with you (assuming he wouldn't marry you if it wasn't). It may not be comforting, but guys look just to look. They don't look because they are seeking better or want to leave you. They just want to look. Its built in to them. It's not a sign that they want to be unfaithful. Seriously, it may be hard at first, but the look but don't touch policy will save you a lot of arguments. If he isn't cheating on you (which it doesn't sound like he is) then just let it go.

Tell him it bothers you, he should respect you enough to restrain himself. But like previously said, he is only looking! There's a pretty popular song that says "Its not where he is, Its where he wants to be." So if he acts like he doesn't respect your relationship, then maybe it won't work out. But if he is just looking then I think you will be OK.

You could try gawking at other guys when you are out, maybe it will bother him and he will get the point! Guys can be so dumb at times, he may not realize how bad it really bothers you or not realize that he is doing it (or that you are seeing him doing it.)

I hope everything works out for you!

This is an issue you both need to solve, before you get married.