It realized that I coulnd't trust people in 8th grade. Me and my best friend were talking and we had an argument about something and she told me that I didn't trust people and that's why I was always so down - because I never opened up to people and I just let all my problems bottle up inside me and I couldn't deal with them on my own. At the time I immediately denied what she was saying. After a while, I realized that there was truth to what she had said. It is extremely hard for me to trust people and even when I do, I can't open up to them. I don't think of myself as a depressed kind of person, but sometimes I wish I had someone else's opion to help me. How do I go about this? Do I get a psychologyst? And how did this ever start? Could it have started because of something that happened when I was younger?

Very possibly something happened when you were younger that caused you to not trust people.

Are you yourself trustworthy? Sometimes we don't trust others in certain situations because we can't be trusted.

Your other posts indicate you are an angry person, fly off the handle. Is this part of it?

Yes, I'd speak to a counsellor if this is upsetting your life.

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Originally Posted by RedHead4991

It realized that i coulnd't trust people in 8th grade. Me and my best friend were talking and we had an argument about something and she told me that I didn't trust people and that's why I was always so down - because I never opened up to people and I just let all my problems bottle up inside me and I couldn't deal with them on my own. At the time I immediately denied what she was saying. After a while, I realized that there was truth to what she had said. It is extremely hard for me to trust people and even when I do, I can't open up to them. I don't think of myself as a depressed kind of person, but sometimes I wish I had someone else's opion to help me. How do I go about this? Do I get a psychologyst? And how did this ever start? Could it have started because of something that happened when I was younger?

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Wearing your heart on your sleeve is a very hard thing. You're an open book and you speak your mind. Very direct... sometimes people don't understand your approach and have such a strong ability to be misunderstood. Your stubborn and principled... possibly very young... but as you evolve you will learn to control your emotions. Sometimes staying reserved and just being the ear counts. You see... after you wear your heart on your sleeve - eventually you won't and eventually if you subject yourself to others judgment, you will eventually become cool and people may not want to become involved with you because of the effort it requires to climb across the wall "you" established (in the future). You have high expectations of people... whether you expect them to react or act in a certain way is your discovery? It hurts when you trust someone and confide in them... then later find out that they are talking about you in a negative way or telling your story to others. Truth is you can't allow someone else's opinion affect you the way it has you "feeling depressed". You need to take your own power back and assert yourself in a way that is effective and maybe a bit more reserved (meaning don't spill your beans). Just try to make yourself a little less aware of drama and focus on things that are fun... since you are so young! Relax and play... because when you become an adult; absorb responsibility and true life obligations or raising and supporting a family it will be too late. Relax and allow what people think to be what they think - don't let it effect you in some way that it is causing you direct anxiety. If they are untrustworthy and dishonest then they are not worthy of your friendship.

What type of relationship are you looking for

If you are looking for a deep relationship,
You should not be worried about who you are



A common, superficial relationship
Would require a change

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Originally Posted by nameforyou

what type of relationship are you looking for

if you are looking for a deep relationship,
you should not be worried about who you are



a common, superficial relationship
would require a change

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Er, what?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by nameforyou

what type of relationship are you looking for

if you are looking for a deep relationship,
you should not be worried about who you are



a common, superficial relationship
would require a change

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I agree - what? Is this part of the haunting? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/parano...ng-411042.html

Yes

How old are you? You are aware you're on an adult board, right?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Very possibly something happened when you were younger that caused you to not trust people.

Are you yourself trustworthy? Sometimes we don't trust others in certain situations because we can't be trusted.

Your other posts indicate you are an angry person, fly off the handle. Is this part of it?

Yes, I'd speak to a counsellor if this is upsetting your life.

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I am a trustworthy person. I wuold never take something that someone told me and use it to stab them in the back.

You probably think that I am a hot-tempered individual who will throw a fit every time something doesn't go my way. This is not true at all. I am actually an extremely calm person and I don't get angry very quickly. With regard to the way I snapped at you by the other post, I was simply in a bad mood.

Anyway, Thank you for taking the time to answer.

The thing with trust is that you need to be able to give it as well as receive it.

Trust is a quality that is both emotional and intellectual. Emotionally, it is where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, in the belief that you will not be taken advantage of. Intellectually it, it is where you have calculated that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner.

In other words we trust because we have experienced trustworthiness and because we have faith in human nature.

For some reason, either emotionally or intellectually you don't feel trust. You don't trust yourself enough to let go and trust others. You can't give it, so you don't receive it.

You need to start to take some risks and trust those around you. It does sound as if you would benefit from speaking to a counselor. What's the worst thing that can happen?

Perhaps you've been disappointed in the trustworthiness of others because you've shared too much with them, too soon and they've not been mature enough, or perhaps just never really agreed to live up to your expectations. One thing you can do is decide you are not going to share private information about yourself until the other person does so first with you. This way, if figuring out how to pace the closeness of a relationship is not something you are really great at yet in life, you teach yourself to take some cues from other people on those things.

Perhaps work on building trusting relationships in your family (best way you can do it is to make sure you are honest and trustworthy yourself in those relationships) and when you need to confide in someone, confide in your family. Then take it slow - if you don't have a great track record of predicting whether someone's trustworthy, get to know them for quite a while before you rely on them in those ways.

If your friendships are based on emotional needs for them to understand you at a soul level, or do things for you, or for you to be able to lean on them you might be asking too much. Those things develop over a long period, but if that's your expectation of others too soon, or as a teenager, the other people just aren't ready for all that. It's kind of like expecting a first date to act like a husband - you just aren't there yet. You are disappointed because your expectations are not sustainable.

Hey I have d same issue.. it happened to me because wateve you tell people they use it against you some day or the other...
Even my boyfriend of 5 yrs.. he knows nuthin about me.. because he can't be trusted.. he doesn't care to listen and even if he does he moulds it and uses it to make fun of me or hurt me..

So I ll tell you a great way... ther is a site called blogspot.com... register there and start writing.. its lik an internet diary.. don care whether anyone reads it or no.. jus write wateve you feel lik in that.. u can always bak and see what you felt and what you did and becum a strong person..

You are a very good kid... jus try it.. trust me you ll feel lik a new person because everythin you have in your head or heart will come out and no one will make fun of you or judje you or bakstab u..

Take care

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Originally Posted by araina

hey i have d same issue..it happened to me because wateve u tell people they use it against u some day or the other...
even my bf of 5 yrs..he knows nuthin abt me..cuz he jus can't b trusted..he doesnt care to listen n even if he does he moulds it and uses it to make fun of me or hurt me..

so i ll tell u a great way...ther is a site called blogspot.com...register there and start writing..its lik an internet diary..don care whether anyone reads it or no..jus write wateve u feel lik in that..u can always bak n see wat u felt and wat u did and becum a strong person..

u r a very good kid...jus try it..trust me u ll feel lik a new person because everythin u have in ur head or heart will come out and noone will make fun of u or judje u or bakstab u..

take care

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Please re-read the rules of this site. "Textspeak" is not allowed at all. I know some people find it easier than writing in correct English, it is not appreciated here. Thank you.

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Originally Posted by jmjoseph

Please re-read the rules of this site. "Textspeak" is not allowed at all. I know some people find it easier than writing in correct English, it is not appreciated here. Thank you.

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OK am sorry I had no idea.. I joined..
Its quite difficult though.
But anyway thanks.