Ok, why am I writing this?


To give you an honest, and true answer from a teenage perspective. (I'm sixteen years old)


All of you, probably don't know my story. But, in hopes of trying to prevent horror, pain, and misery to occur in your life, like it did mine (which, I'm still working on to get over) I'm going to tell you all my story.

When I was 14 years old, I met my (ex) girlfriend who was 13 at the time. We were in a serious relationship for about two years. Before engaging in sexual intercourse, we began with experimentation, I.E. oral, phone, fingering, hand job, etc. After, we got comfortable with what we were doing for about a year, we decided, "CONTRARY, TO POPULAR BELIEF, WE'RE MATURE ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX. WRONG WRONG WRONG... We had NO CLUE, what we were doing. Didn't understand the possible ramifications of our actions, and therefor, payed a hefty price.

Yes, we used protection, both a condom and birth control.

Did it prevent her from getting pregnant? NO.

We PANICKED, we had no CLUE what to do.
Till this day, I have not forgiven myself for what we've done.
Aborting a baby because of something we SHOULDN'T have been doing in the first place, has scarred me for life.

I know what you're thinking to yourself.. "It can't and won't happen to me"
Oh, trust me, YES IT CAN.
Wake up from the little fantasy land you live in, because you are not immune to danger.

Not only should you not be having sex because of possible pregnancy, it WILL RUIN your relationship. After we started becoming sexually active, that's all we started doing. There was no more adventure, fun, and charisma in the relationship. It all became about SEX.

Through the same old routine and ruckus, came problems.
Arguments over the smallest things. We both became miserable, because, we were no longer having fun.

Fast forward a couple months later, and we're no longer together.

Do I miss her? Of course. Will I move on? Eventually, but you know what? It's going to be 10x harder then it would normally be, because of all the sexual emotional turmoil that shouldn't have taken place at our age in the first place.

When grown ups tell you not to have sex, it's for a reason.

I believe this not only applies to teens... but people in their 20s and stuff to... because they may not know or may not be ready for what they are getting into

It does in a way make the relationship change, because you know you can have sex instead of doing other fun stuff... so that's not the best thing... Its best to wait till you are married...

I disagree although some people are not mature enough to do that, I believe I myself made the right decicion when I decided to do it. Waiting until your married?
No come on honestly teens here about this stuff ALL THE TIME in class, at home on the t.v, not to mention the filth on the internet, it's only logical that we get curious. Teens these days are laid back about it, sex is no biggy to a lot of us and standerds are BARELY alive. I have self respect and plenty of it and if someone wants to be confident and have sex I applaud them AS LONG AS THEY USE PROTECTION.

Sex doesn't really ruin a releshionship all the time but sometimes it does. 5O/50 shot at any of these possible outcomes (pregnancy etc... ) My releshionship has never been better and the female has the power to say no so if you don't want to don't do it or you'll regrete it and if you want to just really consider the outcomes and keep in mind it's not the greatest thing on earth too.

Sex is a big "biggy" things can happen and nowadays diaeses are on the raise by teens. Sex = babies and there are so many teens getting pregnant that it's only making the abortions clinics richer because this is where they turn too.

I think a lot of teens are miseducated about sex and most can't even talk to their parents about it. Last summer I was at my fiancé brother's house when his niece boyfriend made a statement that you can't get pregnant if you pull off at the right time and we all know that is wrong.

411, I am sorry about what happen to you and I never knew you was 16 but you are so beyond your years. Your right sex sometimes complicated things and it can lead to things that you shouldn't have to deal with.

I hope this thread helps someone, even if it reaches out to one person, and hope others add their stories and regret, if any. Stay strong and learn from everything.

To the OP, I completely agree. I am a 15 year old girl and I know I'm not going to have sex until I truly love some one and they love me, can take care of a baby, mature enough, old enough and HIV negative.

411... Thank you so much for telling your story. It was quite powerful. Thus, I have made it a sticky at the top of this board.

I realize that some may disagree with you, but they are the ones with their heads in the clouds and their feet are not quite firmly planted on the ground.

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Originally Posted by rainbowreedbr

Waiting until your married?

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Rainbow, no one ever said anything about waiting until you are married. In this day and age, that is an unrealistic goal for many people. While it is an admirable goal, it's just unrealistic.

Sorry to those who disagree, but, If I'm able to prevent at least one person from experiencing the pain I did, then It's justified.

Thank you all.

Wow, that's all I can say. Wow!

Wonderful insight, wonderful post and truly wonderful that you shared it with all of us.

If just one teen reads this and thinks, no, I should wait, well, then it's worth it.

Bravo 411Help. You did learn the hard way, but at least you learned. That's what we as adults are trying to say. Learn from our mistakes, you really don't have to go out and pay the price, just listen, because we've been there, done that.

Really great post, I can't say that enough. This deserves to be a sticky. :)

Thanks for posting this... I'm with this guy.. whom I might even love... and I'm only 16 and even though people may say that it isn't love but we've been together for a year now and we've known each other since we were kids and have gone through so much just to go out... and he's been asking me about having sex... and he totally respects my answer (no) but recently I was thinking that it would be appropriate for our one year anniversary but thank you for this... and I know that I won't have sex until I know that I'm ready to handle the outcomes...

That's very good Secelini.

Here's the guide lines.

Only have sex if you are emotionally, physically, and financially ready to have a child.

Thank you Altenweg.

I agree and disagree:) it can go both ways, I don't believe in birth control it messes with the girls system, but if the relationship is to be believed strong enough go for it... if it lasts its true love get married be happy if not then obviuosly it was the wrong decision

You live in a fantasy world my friend.

Sorry to break it to you, but there's no such thing as "meant to be" or "true love". You work for love, through communication, understanding, and patience. Amongst other things.

There are MANY ways you can ruin your chances with "true love"

I don't care how strong you think your relationship is, but if you are not emotionally, physically, and financially ready to have a child you should not be having sex, no matter your age.

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Originally Posted by raysprofile

i agree and disagree:) it can go both ways, i dont believe in birth control it messes with the girls system, but if the relationship is to be believed strong enough go for it... if it lasts its true love get married be happy if not then obviuosly it was the wrong decision

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Birth control is far better than a teen pregnancy. Teens aren't physically ready to have a child, that messes with their systems a lot more than birth control.

Saying "go for it" is very dangerous advice. Really, what do you hope to gain by having sex at a young age? Yes, sex is fun, yes, it can feel wonderful, but the consequences for a few minutes of pleasure are far to great. Pregnancy isn't the only thing to worry about, STD's can kill, and yes, it can happen to you!

I'm not saying that you have to wait until marriage, in today's world, with many people waiting until their late 20's or 30's to get married, that's not realistic, but, waiting until you're ready to support a child financially and physically, well, that's a must as far as I'm concerned.

Sleeping around hoping to find "true love" isn't the answer.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 411Help

You live in a fantasy world my friend.

Sorry to break it to you, but there's no such thing as "meant to be" or "true love". You work for love, through communication, understanding, and patience. Amongst other things.

There are MANY ways you can ruin your chances with "true love"

I don't care how strong you think your relationship is, but if you are not emotionally, physically, and financially ready to have a child you should not be having sex, no matter your age.

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Probably the best piece of advice I've seen on this site in a while. I never agreed with the whole "NO sex before marriage" thing, but waiting until you are physically, emotionally, and financially ready makes all the sense in the world.

I wonder if the administration would let me post this on the walls of my high school? Ha ha, this really is valuable advice, and thanks for sharing.

How the hell did you get pregnant off both a condom and birth control. If the condom broke you would have heard and the pill is like 99.9% protective.

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Originally Posted by secret_123

how the hell did you get pregnant off both a condom and birth control. if the condom broke you would have heard and the pill is like 99.9% protective.

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That's a very common mistake. I know people who used three different forms of birth control and still got pregnant. Just because you're on the pill and use a condom doesn't mean you're safe, you're just safer. No form of birth control, even if you double up, is 100% effective.

Bottom line, if you're having sex there's always the possibility of pregnancy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

That's a very common mistake. I know people who used three different forms of birth control and still got pregnant. Just because you're on the pill and use a condom doesn't mean you're safe, you're just safer. No form of birth control, even if you double up, is 100% effective.

Bottom line, if you're having sex there's always the possibility of pregnancy.

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its like a one in a zillion chance. And if your careful check the condom and are in time with your pill then it's a fraction of being impossible to fall pregnant. We can't spend our whole lives not doing anything in case something happens. Like oh don't go outside you might get hit by a meteor. Which has about the same probability as falling pregnant when your on the pill, or something AND use a condom. Just be careful, and as for sti;s you shouldn't be having sex with someone if your not sure if they are infected or not.

What happens when that one in a zillion chance happens to you? Then what?

Kids these days, have no sense of reality.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 411Help

What happens when that one in a zillion chance happens to you? Then what?

Kids these days, have no sense of reality.

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I am not a kid, I know very well the sense of reality.for example I had why best friend fall pregnant and get an abortion, and now I'm there with there helping her get through it. How much more real can you get? But I'm not going to preach about how I think nooone should ever have sex because something bad might happen. If your going to live ue life not doing anything in case something bad happens, then I feel sorry for you

But hey, if you chose to live like that than that's up to you, I'm just saying that I disagree with what you and the question poster say.