My wife was talking to a guy on Facebook then skype,and I found out about it... she says he's just a friend,when found out about it... she says she has nothing to hide,as she says you even know my pass word for my email... so she deleted him from her face book... saying I'd rather have you on my Facebook than him... but she has changed her password now on her email... is she hiding something

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Originally Posted by epa12

my wife was talking to a guy on facebook then skype,and i found out about it....she says hes just a friend,when found out about it...she says she has nothing to hide,as she says you even know my pass word for my email...so she deleted him from her face book...saying i,d rather have you on my facebook than him...but she has changed her password now on her email...is she hiding something

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It is VERY clear she is hiding something...

The only thing you can do now is talk to her. So I suggest doing so. Sit her down tell her how you feel and tell her how changing her password is sketchy.

And it is weird how she's talking to some guy on FB that you don't know about.

Ahh.. this whole thing is due for a conversation!

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Originally Posted by mudweiser

It is VERY clear she is hiding something...

The only thing you can do now is talk to her. So I suggest doing so. Sit her down tell her how you feel and tell her how changing her password is sketchy.

And it is weird how she's talking to some guy on FB that you don't know about.

Ahh.. this whole thing is due for a conversation!

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Thanks... :)

I would have to say that she IS hiding something. You can't take my word for it of course but you have to find out. There could be a lot going on or nothing at all. Maybe your wife is doing nothing and she changed her password to see if you would actually check up on her and if you trusted her or if you checked you might ask for the password and she would know that you didn't trust her. Or, she could be cheating and I think that about sums it up.

Aren't people entitled to their privacy anymore?

Why are you upset that she changed her password after you were snooping?

I'd be changing my password too. Nobody has the right to unauthorized access into anybodys private life without their permission. Do you go in her purse too? Check her cell phone? Clock the mileage on her car? Follow her on GPS?

You should apologize to her for that breech of trust. You crossed the line.

IF you think something is going on with her, ask questions, have conversations, and talk to her face to face. That is one thing. But, to snoop looking for trouble, is something else again.

Just my opinion.

I agree with people having their own privacy. People do need to have their own things that they want to keep private. I am not talking about serious stuff but I wouldn't ever give out my passwords to my stuff even if my girlfriend asked. It is a password for me and me only. I have nothing to hide and she knows that so she don't ask and I don't ask for hers. I believe that holds a big part of trust for each other because you can trust it without knowing it. As far as you thinking something is going on and she says you can go through her stuff. She probably thought you never would have and you probably shouldn't have because look what it has brought now. I guess you will have to find out another way.

Also, it is your choice if you demand for her password and go through her private things. You could go through all of her stuff and find a bunch of incriminating things. Or you could find nothing, which I bet you will find nothing because if there was something it is gone now. If there is nothing, then you put a big hurt on your marriage.

It's the fact that we have been married for 9 years,and never has she changed her pass word... she always said that she had nothing to hide... now all of a sudden this happens

I think epa, you have opened up a can of worms. Because she did not have a private password, you were able to look in her stuff, and you shouldn't have been. Obviously, from what you 'found', you were not happy, and figured she was hiding something, which she wasn't- you had her passwords!!

So, look at this another way. You give her permission to look in your computer programs and files, and she finds a person, female, on your Facebook that makes her uncomfortable. She asks you about this person, and you delete the person from Facebook, but decide to change your password after this little snoop that she did, that made you, simply uncomfortable. You're entitled to your privacy right? Especially when you've done nothing wrong.

The can of worms happens when you start building a case, based on information you had read, from snooping, and is, at best, questionable in the first place.

If you have reason to do something like that, you will never know what's going on by breeching the trust someone has in you. You have to communicate face to face your concerns- right or wrong- even if it is just a feeling.

I have been married 34 years, and still hand my husbands wallet to him if I don't have any cash and want his. He would have his fingers chopped off if he ever went into my purse. But, snoop on eachother's computers? I set up his computer, and would never in a million years snoop.

Just saying, it is never okay to cross the line you have crossed.

Talk to her.

Is it possible she changed her password to see what reaction you would have? To see if you are actually checking her email? If you actually trust her, after nine freakin' years?

Drop it buddy as I am sure you have more important things to do than snoop on your own wife. Or be suspicious, insecure, or jealous.

I agree with the fact that you have crossed the line and are now being consumed by jealousy. What exactly have you adjudged that she is hiding? She has Facebook, obviously has some male acquaintances - as I'm sure you have female - and oh my! She speaks with some of them occasionally.

Also, the fact you mention Skype and Facebook is of little relevance. Are you suggesting (or rather you mind telling you in jealousy) that because they converse over two avenues of social networking that it may indicate a serious problem?

Finally, you totally blew it out of the water as I'm pretty sure you did not address the topic in polite, non-accusing manner. As a result, she deletes this guy for no good reason whatsoever, tells you she wants you, and that you have free access to her passwords! Oh and then you get upset when she changes her password right? Perhaps she has nothing to hide but in your state of mind she cannot predict how you will react to seeing something on her email. I'd imagine that the mere presence of an email would 'prove' to you that you were indeed correct in your assumption, regardless of the content. No, No, good for her. Leave the poor girl alone with this. Else, institute a policy that your Facebook friends, check that, all your friends be gender specific. All dudes for you and all gals for her. Fair enough?

Love is an emotion and it will cloud your senses just as anger and sadness.
You will do desperate and uncharacteristic things in the name of love.
Always strive to be noble.

If that fails then install a keylogger and you will get your answer.
Be prepared for the guilt you will feel if you are wrong...