Boyfriend Feelings after girlfriend faked rape
First I would like to thank everyone that has spent time to read our situation. This is the most complicated relationship I've ever been in. We have been dating for about 70 days now and within those 70 days I have formed a strong attachment. Is it love? I don't even know. Could just be the endorphin rush I get around her. I have decided to stay single for 2 1/2 years after a terrible breakup. I have grown to enjoy being single and out of all the girls that wanted a relationship with me I picked her. A few hours before she admitted she was raped I was at her house and her "ex" boyfriend and mother saw me laying on her bed talking. The guy took me outside and talked with me and explained that her mom didn't like me laying in her bed, didn't like me in her room, along with me staying too late. So I accepted that and went home. Once I got home I got online and talked to my girlfriend and explained that he was being respectful and just wanted to tell me what her mom said. That's when she admitted she was raped. Some of you may know the story of be rushing to her house where me and the guy almost got physical. I kept calling him a rapist and he questioned that. My girlfriend warned me that he would because she said "he saw it as a relationship because she was 16". He then said "dude do you know how many sex toys she has in her room?". The guy never denied sex, he just looked confused about being called a rapist. As a sexual real sexual abuse survivor I took her being raped pretty hard. I sought full revenge on the guy because I thought it was real. I had my doubts, but I still went with it. We called her dad which is in a different state and told him that she was raped, he then told her uncle which was a cop the next morning. They freaked and came here to help her. They both encouraged me to fight with her and stay by her side. She approached this like a normal rape victim, seeking revenge by getting a protection order, and setting up a court hearing until she spoke to the detective and dropped the charges. I assume that the police or uncle that is a retired police offer does not know that she made this up but I think he has some ideas as he and her own father told me to run as fast I could from her. He went to her court thing and fought against her and claimed she was mentally disturbed. I've looked her in the eyes many times and trying to plead to tell me the truth and she continued to stick to "she was raped". She swore on my life, the bible, her grandparents life and her mothers life. But now she does not remember saying this. She has seen the stress that this has caused me. But lied for 3 months. I have broken up with her about 6 times in 70 days but I always come back a few days later because I felt sorry for her because I thought MAYBE she was raped, and I feel good with her. She looked me in the dead in eyes, I paid attention to her body language and all I can say is she had me fooled GOOD. A+ Liar. She cried and everything. The night she told me she was raped and I brought her to my house I felt bad and admitted that I was sexually abused as a child to comfort her. This is something very few know and I planned to tell my girlfriend this years down the road. For about 3 months I have dwelled on this situation, took notes and analyzed it. I thought to myself that the information she provided does not match a real rape victim. And encouraged her to take this guy back to court to get justice. She said no, that "she isn't ready". All of you must be aware that a day before hear hearing she went to the moms ex boyfriends house to deliver dog food. Does this make sense? I questioned that too. I also questioned the lack of anger that her mom seemed to have after seeing her own daughter having sex/"rape" with this man. The mom knew he was verbally abusive to his daughters, and stole things from them. But she continued letting this guy live there because she said he was apart of the family. People, I'm sorry this is a bit sloppy but this situation overwhelms me. I can't think clearly enough to write this letter in the right order of events. And I left out details of the full story but believe me, the details do not DEFEND her. I hope most of you have an idea of this situation and can understand what I'm in. What I'm dealing with now is - Do I leave for good? What if there is more lies? What if she really is lying to herself? What if she is covering for her mom and the ex boyfriend but she was really raped? Who Knows!! I never will. The main idea that I have is that it is very VERY possible that she had a sexual relationship with him and she is covering it up. There are certain details that she told me that only a person involved would say. Unrelated to this, there has been other things that bug me with her. She was hiding a text from me from a guy that I use to go to school with that is known for destroying relationships. When I asked to see the cell phone she denied and tried to convince me to touch her private area instead. 90% of the times she promises time with me and on those days she usually shows up 3-7 hours after the promise. It leaves me with anger and then I vent and look like the bad guy. I don't know what to do. A guy by the name of Saun that she gave oral to awhile back ago randomly goes over to her house for "no reason". He is my age and I question that and she says she does not know why he comes over. If I do stay gone, how do I put up with the feelings of emptiness of not seeing her? She is really a bright side of my day. I love the way I feel when I'm with her but I don't know how much longer I can do this and feel sorry for her.