While the priest was presenting a children's sermon.
He asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was.

Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.

In response to the question, a little boy raised his hand.

The priest called on him and the boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

It took ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.

Politician is checking in at the Airport. He is wanting to go overseas. He tries to buy his ticket and is refused. When he asks why he is told he needs visa to travel there. The politician replies that that is crazy and he has been there many times before. So again he tries to buy the ticket and board the plane. Again he is refused.

He gets very angry and tells the clerk that he is on a mission and that he has to go and he knows he doesnt need visa to go there. So after this back and forth banter the politician spouts out that he has been there so many times and he knows that they take American Express there so let him on board !!!!!

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2am and is ask "where are you going at this time of night ?"
The man replies "Im going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the affects it has on the human body as well as smoking and staying out late"

The officer then asks "Oh really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies "That would be my wife!"