Ive gotten myself in a bad situation
Okay, me and my boyfriend were perfect. Neither of us were the jealous type, we could go out to the bars and have fun and laugh. Not only were we lovers we were best friends. We had fun doing just about anything and nothing. Everyone envied our relationship. Then about 2 months ago, I started having crazy mood swings and I got really tired and lazy, we started to fight. I lost my job. We ended up breaking up about 2 weeks ago. He said that I changed and I was lazy and was crazy with my mood swings, I didn't know what he was talking about... until now. Its turns out that I was pregnant. I was on the pill and had no signs of being pregnant, it wasn't until I missed my first period at 3 months that I found out, he was there for me, but I ended up having a miscarriage, probably because I took the pill for 3 months and was out drinking not knowing. Recently my car broke down, so now I am living at his house with him and he drives me to school caz I'm in college still and everything is back to normal. Except were not together, I feel like I'm being nieve in a way, The phrase you can't have your cake and eat it too, comes to mind. I love him with all my heart I do, but I don't want to be that stupid girl. Its to the point where his boys are like bro what are you doing, are you back with her or not and hell say no and they'll be like then why you with her everyday. Ive mentioned this to him and he says he just doesn't want a relationship relationship just yet, he wants to be able to go out and hit on girls again, but he really doesn't he is with me like 24/7. I just don't understand, he says that I scorned him, while I was pregnant I just went pyscho and though he knows now it was the hormones and stuff, its still scares him. He hates pyscho jealous girls, I've always known this and I was the exact opposite and the last 3 months I become completely pyscho, now that the pregnancy is over and done with I'm back to normal. So I don't understand why we can't be officially, because it is a relationship except he won't admit it. He says he just needs time to know that I'm not crazy or whatever anymore. Slowly but surely things are falling back into place, he is starting to say I love you more and more and call me baby again, but its not good enough for me. See I use to be the girl that never settled down. I kept my heart hidden for 21 years I did and when I met him I knew instantly he was the one and the same for him, or so I hear from his mom and family. The day he met me I guess he came home and said I honestly think I met the girl I am going to marry. He is everything that I never knew I wanted and more. My best friend, my lover my other half. I guess I'm just scared it really is over, but I don't feel like it is, everything is so right again but its not at the same time caz he won't admit were together when its obvious we are to everyone else, then he got mad at me caz I told he sister we were still broken up, I just feel like he is "getting his cake and eating it too" but at the same time I don't want to pressure him and give him an ultimatum. Can somebody please help me, I really don't know what to do. Im just completely blank and confused about everything. I would really like to hear from a guy and a girl,