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-   -   Why are most people disliking me (easy to follow)? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=808429)

  • Feb 18, 2015, 09:42 PM
    jpv05
    Why are most people disliking me (easy to follow)?
    I am fat. But I am fat because I didn't exercise for weeks in India, where I went in the summer because I did not like to be in special ed in USA. I didn't feel like to exercise because a boy named Martin kept abusing me at school there. (I told my parents and I came back to USA) but I am not VERY fat or EXPLOSIVE fat. Just ordinary fat. But I am bicycling everyday now.

    Now to the problem, I only have three friends in school and one friend in church. One boy, and two girls. I have friends but I am worried about why the other "non" friends don't want to be my friend. The only thing that worries me is why people of different ethnicities other than Indian ethnicity go to the Indian ethnicity people and talk to them. But don't talk to me (also of Indian ethnicity). In the bus, there was this Indian boy, and he acts kind of weird, but there's this white boy who goes to him and talks which worries me. I felt anxious to go to school after that.

    In church there's this boy, (Aabel) who talks to every other boy except me. (And this is in an Indian orthodox church.) I don't get why he doesn't talk to me. He only says things using my name like, "Josh, help him." but he never smiles at me, or talks to me or asks me anything One time some people asked me when I say stuff, "are you making things up?" I will give events of specific times: when there was this person who was grabbing my chest area. I told him on the principal, then Mrs. Kuban told me to stop tattletaling. And also another event when I was typing a essay and in that essay I was trying to describe a place in Southern India, and used the name of that place: "Thiruvananthapuram". It's a real place. And Mrs. Dimare, this teacher asked me, "are you making that up?" and when I was telling on a person who was watching porn on the computer. That same teacher told me "you are making it up."

    Another event, which made me think was when I told a boy, "I have a friend, her name is Timaya" because he never talks to me. And I wanted him to talk to me so I said that. (But now Timaya is not a true friend anymore. Because now she is asking me to say weird things even in 10th grade.) and then I was trying to ask him "why are you talking to Aabel and not me?" but I decided not to ask, and tell something else so I said, "Let me think, I forgot" and then he was like, " are you using that time to make things up?" and I said, " no" and I asked him another question almost similar to the other question, "why do you say thats cool to everything that I say?" (because he is my ethnicity I asked that.) And he said, " why can't I say that?" and then I started to get angry at him and asked this to him, "but why don't you say like that to Aabel or the other kids?" and then he said, "they're" to begin but then he said, "never mind."

    Another event when I was telling a group that an Ipad enhances interaction with a dolphin (or something like that) and a girl was asking me, " are you making this up?" so now Can you tell me why people are not being my friend, based on the events? Or my way of talking (or typing)? I want people to come and talk to me, but no one is willing to.
  • Feb 18, 2015, 09:59 PM
    Homegirl 50
    I have no idea but why don't you focus on the friends you do have. You say people ask you if you are making things up. Have you made up things in the past?
  • Feb 19, 2015, 08:53 AM
    talaniman
    You are a stranger and it may take some time for others to know you well enough to be more comfortable talking to you and being friends. You already have made 3, and in time there will be more.
  • Feb 19, 2015, 12:39 PM
    Precious7
    Namaste! Yes, Thiruvananthapuram is a very beautiful place. :). You see, sometimes if you are from different culture and different country. People usually first try to know about you and then they becomes friend. Sometimes people will respect you and wait for you to come and talk or mingle with them, bcos they don't understand how you would feel or react if they come and suddenly try to talk. And US culture is way far different from Indian, Here people even if they don't know you, they will greet you, smile at you. They know you just barely but they will hug you and say nice words, it's there culture they are nice to everyone but it doesn't mean they become your true friend if they hug you. But in India they don't smile without any reason or talk to any person they don't know or only if there is any kind of emergency they talk otherwise they don't. In India if you talk and get to know someone then they become good friends quickly, but In US opposite, they don't trust everyone easily, first they want to know about, about various aspects of your life and then think about being friends with you or not. So don't take it personally, you start conversation, you let them know about yourself, when they will know you that you are comfortable talking with them, they will surely come to you talk with you next time.
  • Feb 19, 2015, 01:45 PM
    joypulv
    A 16 year old should find it easier than you do to express yourself. I read this question and it seemed to be at least 75% totally irrelevant. I read back through your older posts, and the first one is especially troublesome, because you just wouldn't explain the situation. Even your questions about exchanging money had no background to them. You seem intelligent enough, but you seem to have something lacking in your life when it comes to talking with people. If something like using an ipad to interact with dolphins isn't explained carefully, it could be easy to branch off into stuff that just isn't true, and I wonder if you get in too deep with subjects you don't really know about? All those people suggesting that you are making things up suggests to me that sometimes you are - or at least getting them wrong.

    I also am troubled that you worry about all sorts of people who aren't your friends, when you have 3 friends, and say not one word about them! Friends are TREASURES, and you don't need any more than ONE.

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