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-   -   Wife is not affectionate (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=522806)

  • Nov 4, 2010, 12:01 AM
    loganreign
    Wife is not affectionate
    I've been married now little over 2 months and my wife is the same way. She cuddles with me, tells me I'm everything and that she can't see herself without me. Its very frustrating. She's been using logic to justify what she does saying she doesn't feel good or she's on. I love my wife and I took her 2 kids in as my own as well. We use to have so much fun but as of late don't have very much time. I've talked to her about it, argued, fought, asking her why she won't spend time with me or be intimate with me.. I get so upset that I can't bare sleeping in the same bed with her and walk off. She in turn just watches me walk out and sleeps like a baby. The next day she asks me to stop being a grump and that I drag things out or I just over analyze things too much. She says she understands yet she blows off the subject I spoke to her about. She had an ex-husband who treated her like crap, cheated on her, and left her for another woman. I feel like she see's me as her x and treats me like him too. I know if she continues she will further kill what she started with me. Our marriage.. I talk to her yet all she says is that's all I'm worried about... I don't know what to do. On top of it all when I've asked her questions about things here and there relating to something around here, she gives me half truths.. I wonder if she's just too jaded and just wants company.. any help would be great..
  • Nov 4, 2010, 04:19 AM
    Synnen

    Loganreign,

    The post you attached your question to was 3 years old. I have moved it to its own post so that you can get your own answers.

    Thank you,
  • Nov 4, 2010, 06:01 AM
    Devorameira

    Doesn't look good. Sounds like she may have brought a lot of baggage into the relationship.

    Relationships are only good when there is open and honest communication. The only thing I can suggest is some counseling. That may be the only way for you and her to both express your feelings and for her to truly realize that you aren't going to cheat on her and mistreat her.
  • Nov 4, 2010, 06:41 AM
    answerme_tender

    How was your relationship prior to marriage? Did she show any affection then.
  • Nov 4, 2010, 07:07 AM
    s_cianci
    It's certainly possible that she's projecting whatever anger or resentment she feels towards her ex onto you. Granted that's not fair to you but that's what often happens. It also sounds like the two of you have different ideas of what to expect from marriage. Based just on reading your post I agree that she's not pulling her weight where your marriage is concerned. Keep in mind that there's probably a reason why her ex "treated her like crap, cheated on her, and left her for another woman". I'd talk to her again, lay everything on the table, tell her what you need and feel you're not getting and give her a chance to respond in kind. Then, if things don't improve, you may have to call it quits ; give her fair warning before doing so, however.
  • Nov 4, 2010, 10:53 AM
    talaniman

    Arguing and fighting are no way to build a relationship, talking honestly is. You have been married two months and expect everything to be perfect? Seldom does that happen, and seldom is it just the fault of one partner, no matter what any one says.

    Failure to communicate makes it hard to work together to resolve issues, and that's where your solutions are found. So my question is how old are you both, how long you dated, and how long was it before you moved in together? Got married? How long was she single?

    Conflicts are a part of any relationship, or marriage, how you resolve them is your key here.

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