How many times have we read this one?
Hi,
In this paragraph I'm going to introduce my problem and then quickly state the solution that should be correct, but this is not what I want to do. I want other solutions that don't exist.
Now I'm going to give more details about why I'm really mad at the person or thing that is the subject of my question and how unfair the situation seems to me. Than Im going to immediately talk about why the correct solution won't apply to me because my situation is, like, so totally different than anything anyone on earth has ever had to deal with.
I will end with a phrase stating that I urgently require this solution that doesn't exist and wait for my answer.