Advice wanted re depression
I am currently feeling like ummm blah I guess. I want to be alone with only the internet and my games on it. I don't want to talk to people in RL or even be in the same room with anyone
I have even started pondering the meaning of life and why we live. It is starting to make sense to me that we need to embrace death instead of trying to run from it. I have also been considering SI'ing and just not stopping.
My question is this by me asking for help before I do anything (again) does that mean I am not surious? I mean if I was I would just do it without telling anyone. I know my options which are go to ER or call the crisis line. Does it mean if I do that that I just want attention and am not serious. I will say deep deep down that I think I need IP but am also scared that I will be told that I don't need it.
Guess I just need to be told it is all right to call for help before I do anything and that it does not mean I am looking for attention. If that is true that is
Just address me as useless