So long story short. A girl invited me out with her to a concert, and completely blew us off. She went and made out with guy who she asked us not to let her near him. She said she felt she owed him that due to the fact he bought her ticket and shirt. So after a hour of trying to find her after he pulled her away, we found her making out with him. And clearly she was not in a sober state of mind, I pushed him off and grabbed her to talk about what the hell she was doing. Some point I kissed her, and she kissed me back. But pulled away and said why would I do that to her? And that we shouldn't have done that because we can't kiss again cause were rolling. So later that evening she went back off with him, and when she saw me she kept apologizing. Even earlier in the car we were holding each other, she even took a snapchat of it and the next morning and deleted it. We went back to her place, and the whole night was spent with glances to each other. When the after party died down, she and I spoke and she said two things made her uncomfortable the kiss we shared and the aggression. How do I fix this?

Apologize for taking advantage of a less than sober female, and do not repeat the behavior. In the future be wary of such people who drink and act stupid, and keep a safe distance from them.

Rolling? I assume that means stoned.

What do you need to fix? Stupid things happen when whatever you are doing is mixed with alcohol and other mind numbing vices. She sounds like she has serious boundary issues. If it were me, I would always want to stay clear of drama.

You can't un-do what has already been done. You can only apologize and hope its enough. IF you keep abusing drugs or alcohol... or hang around with those who do... this will happen again or something far worse eventually.

She probably doesn't know what she wants, sober or not. Let it be and move on from this. She will be trouble for you sure enough!

She "owed" him a make out session because he bought a ticket and shirt? Wow... just wow. So sad that some girls (and guys) have that mentality. As was said, apologize and, now that you have a clear head, think about the choices you make in your actions and your behavior. As a side, it appears she has feelings for that guy, or perhaps she has no clue what she wants... best to avoid any serious thoughts about her. You will be headed for trouble, of one kind or another, with the sort.

Agreed. I meant to mention the "owed". Very sad.

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Originally Posted by DoulaLC

She "owed" him a make out session because he bought a ticket and shirt? Wow... just wow. So sad that some girls (and guys) have that mentality. As was said, apologize and, now that you have a clear head, think about the choices you make in your actions and your behavior. As a side, it appears she has feelings for that guy, or perhaps she has no clue what she wants... best to avoid any serious thoughts about her. You will be headed for trouble, of one kind or another, with the sort.

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If I were you, the only thing I would really want to fix here is the distance between me and her.

Why would you want to fix it? A girl who goes out with you, then makes out in public with another man. You dump her, and move on. Unless this is always the best type of girl you can get, because of your behavior.

You do not "pull someone off" and then do the same thing.

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Originally Posted by jewishkidd92

So long story short. A girl invited me out with her to a concert, and completely blew us off. She went and made out with guy who she asked us not to let her near him. She said she felt she owed him that due to the fact he bought her ticket and shirt. So after a hour of trying to find her after he pulled her away, we found her making out with him. And clearly she was not in a sober state of mind, I pushed him off and grabbed her to talk about what the hell she was doing. Some point I kissed her, and she kissed me back. But pulled away and said why would I do that to her? And that we shouldn't have done that because we can't kiss again cause were rolling. So later that evening she went back off with him, and when she saw me she kept apologizing. Even earlier in the car we were holding each other, she even took a snapchat of it and the next morning and deleted it. We went back to her place, and the whole night was spent with glances to each other. When the after party died down, she and I spoke and she said two things made her uncomfortable the kiss we shared and the aggression. How do I fix this?

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There is a lot missing from this story.

How old are all of you? How well do you know this female? How did she end up inviting you to the concert when he was the one who bought her ticket (which makes me wonder if they were supposed to go together?) Who is "us"/"we"? Was this a date or a group outing? What is/was her relationship to the person who bought the ticket that she kept making out with?

I don't think there is any reason to apologize or anything to 'fix'. Other than trying to save her from herself at her request and an ill-timed kiss, I can't see that you did anything wrong. Unless you didn't stop kissing her when she said 'stop'.

I think she needs to stop playing games such as 'damsel in distress'. She appears to have caused all the drama by making the group responsible for her own actions. Then she makes excuses to do what she wanted the group to 'protect' her from. She put you and the others in the position of being her 'knights-in-shining-armor'. She didn't have to go with him when he "pulled her away". But she did and even met up with him again later. Question comes to mind did she really want to be 'rescued'? It is up to her to get her life in order so that she doesn't end up playing games with the wrong person. Stay away from her. She needs to lessen the confusion instead of adding more to the mix.

I am sure you have enough on your plate dealing with your own life and issues (it's a part of life, we all have our own issues) so don't take hers on or encourage her to continue the games by making yourself one of the pawns.

Think about this.

The girl pimps herself out for a t-shirt and concert tickets, and pays the guy back with making out. Had this been a house party, she would probably gone further, but, at a concert she would risk getting tossed.

She knew what she was in for before she went to the concert. That is why she asked you to keep her away from this guy- you would be her patsy to get her out of a situation she knew was going to happen. Then, despite you doing exactly what she asked you to do- keep her away from him- she ends up making out again with the guy.

Why you kissed her is anybody's guess. Instead of kissing her, you should have run home and hid under your bed.

Then she turns her little plan upside down by saying that you made her uncomfortable by kissing her, and, she was upset with the aggression between you and her 'customer'.

There is only a lesson that can be learned here, and that lesson is for you.

Don't offer to be anybody's bodyguard/protector/savior. In a public venue, where she has made choices that forced you to intervene, there were alternatives. There is security, everybody has a cell phone to call 911. Let somebody else be a hero to girls like this, and stay away from trouble that you should have seen coming, and even when you did see trouble, you jumped right in anyway, only to end up with egg on your face.

You are not responsible for the behavior of anyone else. Don't agree to be a personal bodyguard, and then end up in the middle of drama, that had long ago been 'arranged'. What if he had pulled a knife or worse? What if a physical fight ensued and you ended up in the hospital? Anything is possible when one is duped- and you were duped.

Now you are making HER uncomfortable? C'mon now. Chalk this one up to a learning experience, and be a little smarter next time.