First off, I had the biological father's rights terminated last year because he had not seen my son since he was one years old and is now 11. My husband of 10 years wants to adopt and that is what we are doing, but I am having a hard time getting my attorney off her butt to get it going. I was wondering if there was some way, in the State of Mississippi, USA, if there were any way of doing the adoption process ourselves. My son's school has changed his information on all his stuff from his birthname to my husband's last name because the papers that the judge signed off on when we terminated stated that he could change his name. But I am under the impression that we have to adopt in order to change his birth certificate and SSN. And I need to get something done soon cause our son is going to junior high after the summer is over and I think they might give me a hard time about the last name that's on his birth certificate and what he goes by and is on all his school records. So... nevertheless, is there any way we can do this ourselves??

No actually you can merely just change his name at the court house, a couple hundred dollars at most normally. That does not give your husband any legal rights, it just changes the name.

There are online sites offer the forms and the paper work, but if your attorney is dragging their feet, fire them, and hire another attorney, it is a matter of filing a paper at the court house and scheduling a hearing at this pont I would guess, does the attorney give a reason for the dely

I thought I could do that. I've gotten the online print-out papers for the name change. But figured that wouldn't put my husband on the birth certificate to replace his donor which is what we are wanting to do.
My husband views him as his son, and my son doesn't know that my husband isn't his real father. My mother-in-law and everybody has always treated him like he's their biological grandhild and never and will never give him reason to think he is not. Even though, we plan to tell him in a few more years when he reaches the age of 15.
The reason for the delay, is because my attorney is one of my best friends and she had a heart attack back in December and had a hard time getting her doctor to release her back to work. So, firing her is really not an option right now. I just don't see it being worth losing a great friendship over what I've paid her.
I guess I'll have to find some way to lite a fire under her butt, but just wanted to know if there was any way possible we could do the adoption ourselves.

Also, do you know if you have to have a guardian ad litem involved for the adoption? We had one for our son when we terminated rights last year. And my attorney-friends says we need one again, but another attorney-friend says we don't.
In case you're wondering why I have several attorney-friends, it's cause I do editing work on transcripts, depositions, rulings, jury trials, et cetera. Just don't have any experience with adoption processes.
So... about that guardian ad litem?

I would say this, great to finish up using this attorney, but I have a strict rule, my doctor and my attorney are never my friends, I have friends that are both but I do not ever want to have to use them for my legal or medical issues. Since both can require hard choices sometimes.

Also I would always advise letting the child know as early as possible the truth, if adopted at 3 or 4 there are even special books that explain it starting that early. There is often a anger or mistrust of many things if you wait till a age they are often rebellious at anyway. ** opinion.

Yeah, I see what you're saying. His guardian ad litem said I shouldn't even tell him, which I disagreed with cause I met my real father at 15. His donor is just a piece of work who stated the only reason he wouldn't sign the papers last year... after he stated he would, said that he didn't want to play daddy and didn't want to pay CS for the first time in 11 years, he just didn't want to sign them cause "He wanted to show that he fought for him" when he gets older.
But nevertheless, we are going to tell him, and he will know. I believe that's his right. But he's 11, almost 12 now and he's going through some emotional problems right now with his hormones and all that comes along with being a male, I guess.
I'm just so nervous about telling him, cause quite frankly, I'm afraid that after all we've been through and all we've done to protect his privacy, that "I'LL" be the one to mess him up emotionally. He's that sensitive of a child, and super genius I might add. He's participated in chess tournaments across our state since he was 5, in the spotlight classes for extremely gifted children, et cetera.
I just hope what we've done for him doesn't dissapoint him. I sometimes wonder if I should have told him when he was a toddler, but with time, and my husband raising him all these years, I couldn't tear them two apart. He felt if I told him, it would break their bond.
All this we have to go through, cause of a man who decided to walk away when he was an infant, and left the responsibility to my husband.

Don't take this as the God given truth but my friend in high school was registered under her fathers name one year and her mothers maiden name when they broke up the next year, and she didn't get her name changed or anything, they just started using it. Our school didn't give her any problems, they didn't really know/care, but I don't know if your son's school is anal or anything, so you might get lucky there. As far as adoptions, there's not a way I know of to do them by yourself, because even for other adoptions you do yourself, that just means you don't go through an agency, but you still have to do the legal work with an atty. As far as your friend goes, just be upfront with her, but nice, and tell her you really want to have ti done before school starts and just call her every day and leave a message. Eventually it will get so annoying she'll do it just so you won't call her anymore. Good luck.

Hahahaha, so in other words, be a nag, hahaha. I guess I'll have to do what I have to do and if she gets mad, then maybe she'll realize I've been sitting around waiting on her to start what I paid her for almost a year ago now. Oh well if she does get mad now. I'm about to that point. She's supposed to call me later and I guess when she doesn't... I'll be ringing her phone.
Thanks, guess I probably just needed someone to tell me to quit acting like a puss.

The younger you tell a child they're adopted, the easier it is for them to accept it. It "becomes" part of their identity, if you will, rather than making try to "add" it to their identity.

I would just let your friend know how very important this is to you, and maybe SHE can direct you to the right paperwork, etc. You ARE paying her for it, just let her know that you're willing to help, but that you want to do it right and you'd like to do it soon.