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-   -   How can I get guys? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=112217)

  • Jul 21, 2007, 08:59 PM
    yoitzlisa
    How can I get guys?
    Hello

    I'm a 13 year old girl and I have very low self esteem. I think I'm ugly, I'm usually depressed, I fail at getting guys. I have been out with 2 guys so far, but there was nothing special about them. I feel as though no guy would ever like me because I'm not attractive and I'm shy. I have never been on a proper date out to dinner or something.

    How can I get guys?
  • Jul 21, 2007, 09:57 PM
    WillL300
    Never give up on anything. If you feel depressed, I would recommend trying to approach things one at a time. There is always someone out there for everyone. Try not to set you expectations to high. Everybody has beauty inside, and that's what counts. If they can't accept you for who you are, it's time to move on.
  • Jul 22, 2007, 08:46 AM
    Skrypt
    In your age you shouldn't be looking for a guy at all. As you said yourself it is hard... and pointless because will there really be a guy mature enough? I'm 15 right now and 2 years ago I wasn't. Relationships at that age all revolved around 1 thing. SEX. Don't rush into growing up because that's pointless as well. Make friends with people and get to know them for who they are. That way you can build a healthy relationship when you're older instead of pulling one out of your @$$.
  • Jul 22, 2007, 08:49 AM
    touji-za-nai
    guys don't dig low self esteems

    same for girls, its just a better relationship when both people are healthy and secure with themselves.

    being shy isn't a big deal, some guys think its cute ^_^, just don't be resistant if a guy talks to you.
  • Jul 22, 2007, 08:58 AM
    danielnoahsmommy
    Do you understand what it is to get a guy? I don't think so.. you are too young to be involved in a sexual relationship with anyone. If you feel such strong desires you should talk to your parents to get some counsiling before you end up pregnant and mooching of the system
  • Jul 22, 2007, 06:31 PM
    BN61239
    You are only 13. You may be going through your awkward stage where you are emotional and your body is changing. If you like a guy talk to him and hint to him that you are interested. If he is interested and a good guy he will accept your personality and not just care about the way you look. Good luck and just to let you know, you are young. Don't worry about it now. You have a lot of time left to find love and become more mature and as you grow you will become more beautiful and you may grow out of your shyness.
  • Jul 22, 2007, 07:21 PM
    E12191G
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by yoitzlisa
    hello

    I'm a 13 year old girl and i have very low self esteem. i think i'm ugly, i'm usually depressed, i fail at getting guys. i have been out with 2 guys so far, but there was nothing special about them. i feel as though no guy would ever like me because i'm not attractive and i'm shy. i have never been on a proper date out to dinner or something.

    how can i get guys?

    Well first of all the fact that you feel so ugly and you have low self esteme. Guys don't like that too much. It can get annoying after a while. So maybe instead of looking for a guy you should work on yourself first. Build up yourself esteme and don't listen to what anyone says. If you say your pretty then so be it. To hell with who ever thinks other wise. What other peoples opinions are doesn't really matter because itwont make a difference think about it. If you say someone's ugly... there not changing.. they stay the same. So I mean, maybe a relationship isn't the best thing right now. Try to fix what you think is wrong with you. And by the way. No ones perfect. So thers no point in trying to get there. I'm not perfect and no one I know is so. Thers someone for everyone and its just not time for you to meet that person yet. So work on how you feel yourself before getting with anyone.
  • Jul 22, 2007, 07:41 PM
    Wondergirl
    I suggest you stop thinking about yourself so much and concentrate instead on others. When you talk with someone, no matter who it is, make that person the center of your attention and interest. Smile, make good eye contact without staring, have good facial expressions and body language to show you are "there". If you stop worrying about yourself, and focus on the other person(s), you will have more friends than you know what to do with. (That's also how a smart girl "gets guys".)
  • Aug 3, 2007, 06:43 PM
    michellet218
    Try a makeover. But don't try to look older and sluttish. Look your age. That should boost yourself esteem.
  • Aug 3, 2007, 06:54 PM
    Carolyn_Emma
    First of all I'm 12. And sometimes I feel that way to but you have to keep your chin up and keep going. Trust me the right boy will come along sometime and you have to stop putting yourself down because that is making it worse as you say that stuff. Yes, sometimes you WILL feel ugly or fat or unwanted but there "has" to be something wrong with everyone. My point is that you need to stop calling yourself ugly and stuff because that is not helping at all someday the right boy will come along and prove you that you are not ugly.
  • Aug 3, 2007, 06:55 PM
    Carolyn_Emma
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by michellet218
    Try a makeover. But don't try to look older and sluttish. look your age. that should boost your self esteem.

    That doesn't help at all..
  • Aug 3, 2007, 06:58 PM
    saraispiel19
    Ooh hunnie! You just αnswered your question: you hαve low self-esteem αnd you think your ugly! You won't cαtch fish with thαt bαit I tell yα!

    1- your 13! pαrts of your body hαven't even stopped growing yet- give it some time.. your so young right now, don't mαke the mistαke of dαting αs mαny boys αs you cαn becαuse you'll regret it lαter-- young people cαn be so foolish like thαt
    2- you mαy think your ugly becαuse you keep compαring yourself to "eαrly bloomers" or people in the mαgαzines, TV.. etc-- don't do thαt it'll drive αny womαn nuts-- you do know thαt the pictures αre edited αn αltered right?-- like jenny mαcrαthy sαid " when i look αt my own dαmn picture on mαgαzines i don't even reconzie myself--i sαy "hey those boobs αren't mine! "
    3- pαmper yourself if you feel like your hαir needs some work plαy with it, dye/highlightt it [if your pαrents will let you first], put on some LIGHT mαkeup [if your pαrents let you of course], pick α cutesy trend -don't go looking like α loosey goosey now, no one will respect you, exercise if you feel like your fαt [which I doubt you αre!]--eαt heαlthy
    4-guys like nothing more thαn α womαn with confidence-- remember confidence NOT snob like
    5- get invovled in other things- guys αren't supposed to be the center of your world- join α teαm of sports, it's the summer! Go hαng out with your friends, get αn odd-job [since there αren't mαny pαrt-times for 13 yeαr olds], join α beαch volleybαll teαm, volunteer for things like festivαls.. etc. you'll get to meet α lot of new people αnd hαve fun

    In the meαntime enjoy yourself--guys αren't supposed to be everything to you, your supposed to be everything to them.

    Good luck to yα kiddo αnd hαve α sαfe summer<3
  • Aug 3, 2007, 06:59 PM
    sGt HarDKorE
    Guys I think she means she wants to have a boyfriend, not to have sex. Anyhow just do things that guys do like join the clubs such as snowboarding and take classes like drafting, or gym. And to help yourself esteem, a new pair of clothes never hurt anyone. My mood depends on what I am wearing which is not the best way to have it, but it just helps me. Yes we are all beautiful in the inside and outside, but boys your age and pretty much adult guys too judge a book by its cover. And if you get dumped or something, don't worry about it because boys at age 13 are pretty mean to girls and are off and on on who they like.
  • Aug 3, 2007, 07:03 PM
    nicespringgirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sGt HarDKorE
    Guys i think she means she wants to have a girlfriend, not to have sex. Anyhow just do things that guys do like join the clubs such as snowboarding and take classes like drafting, or gym

    SGT, I believe she wants to get a boyfriend!:rolleyes:
    Read the post again... :p
  • Aug 3, 2007, 07:28 PM
    youngnstupid
    Look guys don't care if a girls hot or ugly I would go out with anyone who has a good personality or even if they have a nice smile I think that you shouldn't even be getting involved with boys they just slow you down I think you should finish high school and meet 1 in uni
  • Aug 3, 2007, 08:19 PM
    sGt HarDKorE
    If she is 13, I'm guessing she wants 13 year old boys, and any guy would know what is going through their mind. At that age, looks is the main thing.
  • Aug 4, 2007, 07:41 AM
    saraispiel19
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
    that's right, hey love ur pic btw:)

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kp2171
    great advice. always a nice delivery. and yes, the best avatars on the site

    Thαnks guys-- gαwd I'm such α pimp - hαhα

    Yoitzlisα: oh yeα don't forget sense of humor too!!
  • Aug 4, 2007, 07:21 PM
    sGt HarDKorE
    "Wondergirl agrees: And what goes through the mind of a 15 y/o????"

    Well all we want is sex, and to be with the hottest girl. At this age, most boys could care less about how they make a girl feel, unless they can trick her into doing something sexual. Most relationships are only a week long too.
  • Aug 6, 2007, 09:54 PM
    Elk Darkshire
    That's not true =( I don't want sex only
    *hugs chris*

    A girl wants an older boyfriend... same with boys, they want older girlfriends (younger than 20 of course)

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