Originally Posted by
Jake2008
I am sorry you are in this spot. With your dad simply announcing his plans to move to his girlfriends house, it doesn't seem like he has been sensitive enough with your needs, to consider the ramifications of that, even if he had talked to you before he made the 'announcement', it would have given you an opportunity to talk to him about your concerns.
It seems that you are a very considerate kid to the changing life of your father, and his girlfriend. I don't hear complaints, but I do hear concerns that are very valid.
With you heading into grade 12, it will be a problem to live so far from the school. I am assuming that if you stayed closer to school with your mother, t it would be easier for you to concentrate the important year ahead. Your priorities are different than your fathers, and considering your age, and your needs, it might be time to do a little negotiating.
Speak to your mother and see if you can't stay full time at home with her, and visit your father on more holidays and weekends. If your parents are on speaking terms, maybe a little meeting with all three of you can work something out that is more suitable for you. You could also speak to your father if this is okay with your mother, and let him know this is what you need to do, to ensure you reach your school goals.
As to him moving on, and out of the home you shared with him, into her home, this will make it more difficult for you for all the reasons you have said. It would be a different story if you were eight years old, but, you are older, and planning your future, and your needs and wants should be considered far more seriously.
You can do nothing but accept the situation he has decided to put you in. I certainly understand why you would feel uncomfortable in her home, it is a home that belongs to her, and now the two of them together, and you probably feel like a fifth wheel. Decisions are being made for you, when you are now mature enough to understand the ramifications of their decisions.
Maybe it is time to make your own decisions, and at least try to make changes that are more suitable, and workable for you. Concentrate on facts, not emotions. Make school your priority, and talk to them so they understand it will be their priority as well. If it is agreeable for you to stay with your mom, and visit with your dad when you can, so that you have the best chance of achieving your school goals, that very reasonable request should succeed.
That way, you won't also have the burden of two weeks a month, in a home, that you are uncomfortable in. It doesn't even need to be brought up. If you are spending less time there, it will be more tolerable for you. Feeling like a guest in their home, is very different from feeling grounded with just your dad, with just him, in his home.
I hope you get lots and lots of replies to your situation that may very well be better than what I've offered. That this has happened before the new school year starts, means there is time for you to make positive changes, and ease the stress level, so that when you return to school, you can do what you need to do.