I am 57 years old and my mother and I are not speaking now for about 4 years. She is 82 and very active for her age. She has always favored my brother and made an obvious difference for the love she has for him. She's always called me by my father's name and said I act just like him. They are divorced and have been for most of my life. She divorced me several times in my life and I was always the one to make up. I've tried to win her love all of my life and I have surrendered and given up 4 years ago. She has never tried to call or made any attempt to fix our relationship.

Are you expecting that selfless, maternal welcoming from her? Some women are born totally without it. They are not "mothers," just other human beings.

She says that you remind her of your dad. She divorced him a long time ago and probably has no warm feelings toward him at all. Your very presence is a reminder of that mistake.

Her problem is that she is human. Your problem is expectation.

WHAT? You seem to be clueless of what I tried to say. She once said, when I was around 6 that she wished I was never born. She allowed me to go for 3 years with a damaged knee and refused medical attention when I was a teenager. She has broken up 3 of my marriages and paid their court fees. She has lied to others about things I've done, that are not true. When people brag about me for any reason at all, she tells them how terrible I was and you really don't know him. For over 30 years I've been nothing but a good son and as long as I kissed her behind, it was okay. But 1 wrong move that displeased her, she came back with vengeance. She might be human, but she is not a normal mother, that's for sure.

Nice vent, and I suspect that's what you need, because I doubt she changes, or gets better, and it's a darn shame you had to go through this BS.

Now let it go, and be happy with the life you have built for yourself, without her.

Sorry for your pain.

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Originally Posted by wildbill53

WHAT? You seem to be clueless of what I tried to say. She once said, when I was around 6 that she wished I was never born. She allowed me to go for 3 years with a damaged knee and refused medical attention when I was a teenager. She has broken up 3 of my marriages and paid their court fees. She has lied to others about things I've done, that are not true. When people brag about me for any reason at all, she tells them how terrible I was and you really don't know him. For over 30 years I've been nothing but a good son and as long as I kissed her behind, it was okay. But 1 wrong move that displeased her, she came back with vengeance. She might be human, but she is not a normal mother, that's for sure.

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ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again.

Totally agree: She's too old to change.

She is who she is. You know what she is like. You can't change her. It is up to you to either say enough is enough or keep in contact with her and dramas.

My mother and my sister have always been drama queens. I have spoken to neither of them for 15 years+. I don't miss them or the drama. I am happy without them.

My mother died about five years ago from cancer. I still don't miss her.