Can spouse sue third party for having affair and wrecking ones marriage

In some States, yes. In some States the lawsuitis allowed by law and there have been a few decisions in favor of the party who was NOT "cheating." In other decisions it has been decided that the marriage was already broken and the affair was just part of that.

An Attorney could give you the law for your State. It's alienation of affection in most States.

I'm an investigator. I've done more than a few matrimonial investigations. My concern here is that the third party didn't break up the marriage. The third party took no vows with you, made no promises to you, owed you nothing. Your spouse, on the other hand, is the person who betrayed you.

Sue for what? Damages? Can you quantify the damages that this 3rd party inflicted?

If your response is the desctuction of your marriage, no, the 2nd party did that (your spouse)

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Originally Posted by woundedheart

can spouse sue third party for having affair and wrecking ones marriage

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The easy answer to that is probably no. Now, is that technically correct in all places? Probably not. Sure, you might construct a fancy civil suit that would withstand a demurrer or motion for summary judgment in many places if you wanted to bother, but it would be a complete waste of time-- your time, the court's time,everyone's. About the only modern cause of action in California I could fit it into would be "intentional infliction of emotional distress" but even that's a long shot. No lawyer with half a brain would ever take a case like that, even if you paid for the legal fees out of pocket (or it would be a rip-off it he or she did). And you' d never recover anything anyway. Again, it would be a total waste of time and judicial resources. It might be fun to talk about it in a law school class and debate possible causes of action, but a case like that does not belong in the real world. People have had extra marital affairs since the beginning of time and will continue having them till the end of time. It's part of life. Most would give one simple word of advice: get over it.

And a reminder, the other person did not do it alone, the partner that cheated did it of their own free will.
So it is them you sue basically for divorce