Jealous Husband Looking for Answers.
I'm an insecure person. I've identified that problem and am getting help through my pastor even as we speak. So here goes. My wife has been away for quite some time (4 months, job related). Her job does require that she spends a lot of time with males. I can accept that. I did something that I'm really a little ashamed of. She shared her myspace account password with me, so I could get her pictures she posts while she's gone. Even though it started as a means to keep in touch and see how she's doing, I ended up treating it as a spy mission, and I found some messages between her and another guy that had definite sexual connotations. I snapped! I sent her a scathing e-mail, and responded to the guy, then I deleted the messages, and blocked his USERID. I know I was wrong to be spying on her, and after all, if she shared her password, how could she possibly be trying to hide anything. After I confronted her with my e-mail, she turned it back on me. She was furious that I would do that. She insists that they were just joking around.
I love my wife very much, and I know she loves me too. We have had some issues in the past (14 years ago), and had counseling then. Oh, we've been married 17 years.
I really feel like a jerk for spying on her, but at the same time, I feel like she crossed the line of what I can tolerate with some of her comments she made to the other man. I wonder what her reaction would be if she inadvertently intercepted any messages like that from me to another woman.
I've been very controlling in her life, and I've actually asked her not to continue maintaining friendships with guys that I had any suspicions of wanting more than friendship.
I know I need to loosen the reins, so to speak, and not be so controlling but is there a limit? Can I at least draw some distinct lines that she cannot cross? Or is that too controlling?
Help me!!