Ok, here's my story.. I live in MD.. meet my now ex-fiance on Match.com back in August 2007, he lives in ME, so, of course, everyone said we were doomed from the start. Well--we beat the odds, for awhile--in October 2007, he proposed, I must admit I was hesitate in the beginning, although he never was, always knew I was "the one" for him, after a few hesitations, I agreed, actually took me a year to really believe in our relationship because of previous relationships, I just didn't think he could be real and that he actually loved me--this would be my downfall.
Long story short, over the years, we've been trying to figure out how to make things work, long distance can only work for so long--both flew back & forth as we could, drove back & forth a few times as well. He has a 10 yr old son and is totally disabled, so, although he tried for 3 years, he can't travel to visit me in MD anymore: just too painful for him to travel and his son really needs him (his ex is an idiot). I knew deep down that he wanted me to move to ME, but didn't want to pressure me to do so.. I'm very independent and, although there were times I did say I would move to ME, I'd always come up with a reason to delay it: my parents are here, work is here, passed the bar here, etc.. etc.
My last visit was in February, for my BD and Valentines Day, I was only supposed to stay for one week, but, on the day I was supposed to leave, he broke down, telling me he didn't want me to go, I didn't want to either, so I stayed. But I acted like an *** most of the time, complaining about the weather, his friends calling, anything and everything. I get back to MD, and I continue complaining to him that our relationship isn't progressing--telling him Im breaking up with him, that other men are hitting on me, that an old boyfriend asked me out, and although I didn't go, I wanted to... all kinds of crap.
Meantime, he's taken it in, not saying much... finally I blew up in May, because he didn't call me back in the time frame I wanted him to--called him--told him to lose my number, don't call my family, if he calls me again I will change my number and hang up. Of course, right away I regret it and start to realize what an idiot I've been. Next day, call him, apologize, but I can sense things are different, He says its OK, but I know it isn't.
After that, he was distant for weeks, I finally realize that I want to move to ME and start looking for jobs, get a call for an interview up there, I call him to tell him--he says--he doesn't think it's a good idea that I come for the job interview--I'm in disbelief. He says he can't handle the stress of our relationship anymore, with his son, his mother (whos 77) and his illness, its too much. I don't believe it, schedule the interview and drive up there a few weeks ago.. I surprise him and then, he drops the bomb--he can't do our relationship anymore and he means it: tells me the things I said are staying in his head and its killing him: either he breaks up with me or he's going to have a heart attack/stroke. He starts vomiting, says he's been vomiting for weeks, not eating, lost like 10lbs. Again, I can't believe it. I convince him to let me spend the night, but the next day, he's throwing up again, every 5-10 minutes--finally I ask, is it me? Do you want me to leave? He says yes, he's sorry I came so far and he doesn't want to be mean, but he needs me to go.
Of course, I am devastated, I really didn't mean all the stupid things I said, I was angry and hurt and now... he won't talk to me at all, I've sent him letters to try and explain, nothing... I keep watching the phone hoping it will ring.. nothing it's been 3 weeks now and I have no idea how to move on. I honestly never thought this was possible with us, and, when I left that day he looked at me, tears in his eyes and asked how did we get here? He never thought we would, he thought we were forever-that he'd given me his entire heart, I tell him I'm ready to move there, he asks why I didn't say that a month ago, I would've made all the difference but now, he just can't do this anymore... how in the hell did I screw this up?