Trying to Decide - where should we live?
My husband and I are trying to find a good place to settle with our 2 small children, and we each have pretty different views on the subject, so it looks like some compromise is needed.
I come from Australia, and have family there, and although my family are spread out and we didn't get to see them more than a few times a year, I loved those times very much, and I miss them a lot.
My husband comes from Hawaii, and moved to Australia for 8 years when we first go married. We always talked about living in Hawaii, and I was always open to the idea, but now we are here we are struggling sooooo much, and I just wonder if it is not meant to be. His parents still live here, but his brother and sister moved to California (sister is married with 2 small kids).
So we are finding things really tough here. We both work, but money is not plentiful. We are currently living with my parents-in-law, which is very generous, but also very difficult - it is a bit like being a teenager all over again! And then add 2 toddlers! It gets a bit nuts.
We both made good money in Australia, but times like Thanksgiving etc my hubby would get really sad and feel like something huge was missing (which it was, of course). We had good friends there, but somehow life was so busy and we felt that getting time to see them was a huge laborious epic, so we didn't make that effort as much as we should have.
So we moved. But to me, it seems no better, and in many ways worse. We are still struggling financially, not going so great with jobs, no independence, and I just wonder should we go back or press on. My husband gets frustrated even talking about it, and is annoyed with me for wanting to quit after just 1 year, but I am just exhausted and want stability for my 2 small children and a home that is affordable. I am tired of living in expensive shoeboxes!! Or worse, leaning on relatives for help.
We still own a 2 bedroom flat in Australia - yes we have outgrown it, but it is something at least. We could sell it, and use the down payment to buy something small and horrible here, and it would be better than renting, but I'm scared to commit to living here when I don't really like it much yet, and am unsure about calling it 'home' in a long-term way. I feel bad that I am not liking it here. I feel like I'm being unfair on my husband, who stayed in Australia for 8 years despite missing his 'home'.
Help!