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-   -   My boyfriend doesn't like sex often (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=118484)

  • Aug 10, 2007, 07:15 PM
    haze
    My boyfriend doesn't like sex often
    My boyfriend never wants sex with me in any kind of way, he's not very good at it either he doesn't last very long what can I do?
  • Aug 10, 2007, 07:17 PM
    Wondergirl
    Do you love him and want to improve the situation? Have you two talked about this?
  • Aug 10, 2007, 07:21 PM
    jrb252000
    Learning about what makes each other feel good is the best way to go. Talk to him and see what is on his mind, stress and daily life takes a toll on people.
  • Aug 10, 2007, 09:01 PM
    Dennis777
    Hello.

    The fact he isn't good is I'm sure the reason he doesn't want it. So you have to teach him how to be good. Take it slow and let him watch you so he knows how foreplay can excite you, he can orally excite you and he doesn't have to worry about his size of how long he can last.

    Dennis777
  • Aug 10, 2007, 09:35 PM
    rebecca_guyfinder
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by haze
    my boyfriend never wants sex with me in any kind of way, hes not very good at it either he doesn't last very long what can i do?

    Make him jelous like were something to make him want to snach u up
  • Aug 10, 2007, 09:36 PM
    nauticalstar420
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by rebecca_guyfinder
    make him jelous like were something to make him want to snach u up

    I disagree. Trying to make him jealous could make him mad and start a fight.
  • Aug 11, 2007, 01:08 AM
    haze
    No I dn't want to make hi jealous that's kind of to childish I have just had a son and I'm thinking maybe he doesn't like my body maybe I cn't turn him on, he is very good at oral but never wants to do it
  • Aug 11, 2007, 07:51 AM
    Dennis777
    Hello

    Good for you trying to make him Jealous is a big mistake.

    Im sure its not the fact you had a baby because if he Loves you he would see that sexy Lady you are no matter what you look like. He has a problem so lets see if we can find it and fix it.

    Medications is the first question... Many Many Med's will take away your sex drive. If he is on any type of meds check it out. Make sure you not only check that med but if he takes more then one they combination could be the problem.

    Stress... Stress can zap a Man's sex drive so fast it will make your head spin.

    Boredom... If your Love making has become the same thing time after time then it needs to be spiced up so the excitement is back. If this is the answer then let me know and we can work on some ways to bring back that spark.

    Hope this helps
    Dennis777
  • Aug 11, 2007, 07:54 AM
    excon
    Hello haze:

    He has TWO strikes against him from the git go - no good and not interested. You do know that you AIN'T going to change him. Let me say that again, YOU AIN'T Going to CHANGE HIM.

    If it was me, I start shopping...

    excon
  • Aug 11, 2007, 08:41 AM
    shygrneyzs
    If he is not any mdications for stress or depression, maybe he should consider getting a complete physical. Having a no interest approach to sex is not normal. Unless he is just not into women. I do not know. But start by getting him to the doctor for a thorough health exam, explaining the signs of what is not going on between the two of you.

    If that approach does not work, then consider counseling. Maybe he never saw sex as that as important and he feels you are pushing him. If he feels that he will not satisfy you, then he will not achieve what you desire. Whatever you do, do not write him off until you have considered all the options.
  • Aug 11, 2007, 08:48 AM
    Chery
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by rebecca_guyfinder
    make him jelous like were something to make him want to snach u up

    The rating block is wrong.. I DISAGREE!

    Jealousy in any shape and form is not a solution for any relationship. Any kind of game-playing is dangerous and childish.

    If you claim he is not that good to start with, maybe he feels that you don't appreciate his affection in bed. If you give a guy the feeling he is no good, why should he even bother with you?

    Try talking to him and give him some encouragement. If that does not work, move on and let him find someone he likes to have sex with.

    Keep us posted.

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif
  • Aug 11, 2007, 09:04 AM
    beenaroundtheblock
    Men are stimulated visually. I think you should find out what he likes about you. Your legs, brest, overall shape? What trips his trigger? Then armed with that information start highlighting that part for him. Legs wear a short skirt not just for him but out and about so he can be worked up as other people are also taking notice. If he misses a guy looking at you point it out" hay did you see that guy looking at me" as you hang on his arm. Maybe he will wise up to the fact he is with a fine woman that needs taking care of before some one else takes his place.
  • Aug 12, 2007, 09:25 PM
    haze
    I have talked to him about going to the docter guys and he actually said it's a good idea I had a wee chat last night and he explained he doesn't like it because he's no good it has nuttin to do with me, we are going to go to the doctor soon and see if he can help
  • Aug 13, 2007, 05:12 AM
    charlie00
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by haze
    my boyfriend never wants sex with me in any kind of way, hes not very good at it either he doesn't last very long what can i do?

    Get another boyfriend
  • Aug 13, 2007, 08:02 AM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by haze
    i have talked to him about going to the docter guys and he actually said its a good idea i had a wee chat last nite and he explained he doesn't like it coz hes no good it has nuttin to do with me, we are going to go to the doctor soon and see if he can help

    Watch some porn together... give him some ideas... heck... try the woman on top position or some where you are the one in charge. Unless he is a total waste he is capable of learning. Its not a skill you are born with. Being able to mate... maybe... being good at it however is learned.


    EDIT: I thought about this a bit more and need to say that nobody is an expert with a new mate. By this I mean to be really good you have to learn were and how to push that partners buttons. There is no excuse for there to be a problem like this in a marriage. You have all the time in the world to know how to do this. Where there is a problem, is not caring about how to do this. That in my mind borders on inexcusable. However this will take longer for some guys than others, they have to care and they have to listen to learn how you like pleased, because as I repeat all the time. No two women respond the same way or to the same things exactly the same way. Many may like something, but none will like it exactly the same way the rest do.
  • Aug 13, 2007, 09:32 PM
    haze
    Thatnx everyone your all a huge help. And no I don't want to get a new boyfreind id rather work it out with this one

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