Hey all,

Ill try to put this in a nutshell, a little more than a month ago, my boyfriend broke up with me, during a very stressful busy time at uni when I had exams. I had no idea it was coming, the last week he spent so much time with me, he even went shopping with me which he normally wouldn't, it was like he was making an effort, I was really happy. But then we got into a fight because he hadn't spent the last 2 Saturday nights with me (there were with his male friends) and I was angry cause I was like... you better spend this sat with me, and he was vague... (that was sunday) 2 days later he said he wanted to break up or have a 2 month break, I was shocked, I rejected the break at first, but then went with it, then 2 days later I text him and told him I wasn't waiting its over... he then text me back and said he sent me a letter and I should read it before making decisions. I called him the next day and said wats going on? He then just said let's just break up... so that we did. 2 weeks later... the letter came... 4 pages long, nothing hinting a break, just lovey lovey blah blah. Anyway he contacted me last Friday exactly a month later, at 1:30am in the morning, and he txted me hey, know its not cool contacting you, but just thought id see how your doing, going away tomorrow for work for a month, hope all is well and your family is doing OK. I didn't reply and I won't. What's with the nice message? What does he want? Why did he do it? Makes me angry that he think he can be all nice after the mean way he broke up. Doesn't exactly help me to move on, he'll probably text me again when he comes back? Ideas/opinions?

Totally ignore it. They reason he is messaging is he wants to see if he still has you if you don't reply you will buikld trhe tension and he will definitely be messaging you while his away saying I MISS YOU!!

If you do not reply he will definitely message you!!

You have given him the gift of MISSING YOU and that is the best ting you could give him. He realises he really likes you but be careful he is probably just testing if he still has you at the moment.

Don't play his games, don't text anything back cause whatever you text it will be stupid. For example if you say why are you messaging me, where will that get you. If you say Hi, well that sounds OK but where does that leave you. If you say anything he will think well she is still around and if you say something lkike Don't contact me you sound angry!!

So if you say NOTHING at all then this is say maybe you didn't get the message, maybe you have someone else maybe you don't ITS CALLED MYSTERY let him drive himself crazy wondering what is going on in your life now.

When people wonder what is going on in your life he will want to contact you and then he will ewant to be in your lifwe if that's what you want...

Forget the loser!! Move on & be happy

I would not reply but not because you want to string him and makes him wonder. You asked, why the nice messages. A few possible answers. He treated you terrible, didn't even have the courtesy to break with you in person, or at least over the phone. So he sent you a nice text to make himself feel better. Two, he had no choice but to send you a nice message. Would you even waste your time posting your question if he sent you a rude message? He wants to make you "wonder" and he had succeed right? He wants to remind you his existence. Why? Because he wants to know he still has access to you. Now, becareful, this is not the same as wanting you back or still has feeling for you. Having access to you just so you will response to him in the future whenever he want. But it will be on his term. And you will falsely believe that he still wants something. I doubt it. And even if he wants something with you in the future, he has to work extra to earn your trust and prove it to you.

I hope I answer your questions.

I understand all of this... but what if he sends another one? And another one... IF you still want to get back together with him, on your terms of course, at what point do you mention anything about that kind of thing. Or what do you say?

If he send another then re-post it on this topic.. the first time me and my ex broke up getting back started slowly... first it was a text the next week two missed calls the week after a text and a call.. it was so hard not replying but eventually he really wanted to meet in person and talk.. after the first meeting he didn't have the balls to say anything so I just left it... He begged for a second meeting and that's when he said I miss you.. just wait.. If he thinks your worth it he will fight for you and unless his on his knees begging you back... don't stress about these texts take pride that he is realising what he lost.. your to good for him.

Stay positive in your answer in your response if you want to get his attention or don't answer at all if you don't want him back

This post is from2007.