What did I learn after a devastating breakup?
1. There is no such thing as meant to be, the one, true love, or soul mates. There is only the love that you work hard for with your significant other. That in itself, is real love.
2. Love does not simply fall into place, that is infatuation. Love takes hard work, and as soon as one fails to do so, it will crumble as a whole.
3. Communication and honesty are the key foundations to a loving relationship. Both must be present or all will fail.
4. If you are not focused on your significant other for companionship, you are cheating. If you feel the need to hide your conversations with another man from your partner, you are cheating.
5. When looking for a life partner, search for compatibility instead of acceptability
6. You can't try to change a person to someone you want, you must accept the person for who they are. You can only change yourself.
7. Aim to strive for a better you, but don't let another person change who you are.
8. NEVER EVER pressure or guilt your loved one into doing something they don't want to. Do not emotionally blackmail them by making them feel guilty.
9. Do not let your partner become like your mom. Some of them like to do that and it's up to you to know when the line is crossed.
10. Do not backtrack, keep pushing forward or you'll end up in a non productive circle. Accept the truth for what it is and stop giving yourself false hope. When the relationship has ended, you must not dwell in the past.
11. Having a sense of humor is a good thing in general and for a relationship. However, know when you are crossing the line between humor and insensitivity.
12. They might expect you to know what they are thinking without having to tell you, so keep this in mind and pay attention to what they say, their attitude and their actions.
13. When the times are tough, your family and friends are always there for you. Remember what they have done during the hard times and keep them in your heart always.
14. Do not build your life around the person you love and vice versa. Have them a part of your life but do not make them your life.
15. When you love and accept reality, you will be forced to move on without the bitterness within. Strive for this.
16. Take responsibility for your feelings and the actions you make.
17. If you know for sure that the relationship will be going no where, it's better to end it sooner than later.
18. Do not look for a rebound after a serious relationship has ended. It's unhealthy for you, unfair to the rebound, and disrespectful to the ex.
19. Cut all ties and avoid contact for your own sake. NC is the way to go after a break up.
20. Eat right, sleep well, and work out to get ripped after a break up. You will feel so much better about yourself and will take your shirt off at every given chance^^