Cannot get sexually aroused. I'm 20 years old and have only been sexually active for a year or so. When I was with my ex at the time when we started having sex I couldn't get aroused and even before I was with him I couldn't get aroused by myself and I still can't. I've tried arousing gels, setting the mood but can't seem to feel sexual. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I don't lubricate or anything.. I feel so insecure and that I can't be with anyone if I can't get aroused because I know sex is a big part of relationships.

Step 1 is to speak to a gynecologist, a good one, someone you like and trust and can discuss this with. It could (and possibly is) hormonal, but without an exam, without some tests, that's just a guess.

Do you know where to go for a referral to a good gyno?

Women can pretend, of course...
As for reasons?
- emotional problems early in life
- not heterosexual, if trying to have sex with a man
- hormone imbalance
- no fantasies, not enough of the right stimulation, not really knowing what you might like (maybe deep down you can only get turned on in an airplane bathroom or pretending you are a dominatrix or a pre-teen or... Angelina Jolie?

Not trying to be funny, just wondering if any of the above sound like possibilities, not just the fantasies.