Ask Me Help Desk - My daughter

I'm due in two weeks and I'm not with the father of my child. He wants to be able to take her for weeks at a time. I don't really trust him. But he wants to stay with dual custody of my daughter. I'm worried that if I allow him to take my daughter he won't bring her back. Do you think that it will be hard to get full custody of my daughter would it be worth it. The reason I ask is because a couple of months ago a girl from work allowed her babies father to take him for a week or two & when she went home that day all of her child's things were gone & she didn't know where to look for her child because like me she doesn't know his family and doesn't know where they live. She tried to go to the police and they told her because nobody had full custody that the baby wasn't really kidknapped.

If you don't trust him, have the court determine the visitation schedule. Without trust, bad things almost always happen. The court loves the woman in respects to custody/visitation, so I don't see you having a hard time. Does he want to sign the birth certificate and do you know for sure if he is the dad?

XenoSapien

You should definitely get a court ordered visitation schedule and support schedule. You should make sure that you are listed as custodial parent. Normal visitation would be every other weekend and then 6 weeks in the summer. There are guidelines for birthdays and holidays. That is standard. If you want to tweak that a little (like the summer visits, etc.) you can. He can object - but, that would be a risk worth taking. The worst you would probably do is get the standard.
Contact an attorney asap.
Good Luck
Oh, and the baby really shouldn't be away from you for a while. So, if he wants to see her, he may have to come to your place and visit. Are you planning on nursing? If you do that for a while - one on one time could really be inhibited.

Quote:

Originally Posted by d3stin3d2blov3d

im due in two weeks and im not with the father of my child. he wants to be able to take her for weeks at a time. i dont really trust him. but he wants to stay with dual custody of my daughter. im worried that if i allow him to take my daughter he wont bring her back. do u think that it will be hard to get full custody of my daughter would it be worth it. the reason i ask is because a couple of months ago a girl from work allowed her babies father to take him for a week or two & when she went home that day all of her childs things were gone & she didnt know where to look for her child because like me she doesnt know his family and doesnt know where they live. she tried to go to the police and they told her because nobody had full custody that the baby wasnt really kidknapped.

First of all if he wants visitation... which he is intitled to... he needs to work out with you the visitation schedule, Now if he is truly a threat and you really in your heart believe he would hurt the baby or steal her... then don't do anything just say no... until there is something in writing from the courts YOU have custody... now that being said... I live in Wisconsin so you might want to call a lawyer and ask them if that is right or not... If it is right then when he says he wants the baby say no and if he really wants the visitation then he will take you to court and get visitation. This way you will have covered your butt with the court order and if he takes off you will be able to say it is kidnapping. You will not have to get a lawyer if you can't afford one just go to the Judge and say that you do not have a problem with him having visitation but you wanted there to be proper papers to state who has the baby and when. I hope this is helpful... again I live in Wisconsin and your laws may differ so I highly suggest you talk to a lawyer to make sure you are not doing anything wrong.. most lawyers will do a half hour FREE consult... YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HIRE ONE ! Well that's my 2 cents :)

If you are on amicable terms with your ex, try to work something out with him.He doesn't need to take the baby for weeks at a time, that probably isn't very healthy for the child to be honest, but why not suggest he visit the child with you there to begin with, try to raise the child together even though you are not a couple any longer. I would go for full custody, with him having access to the baby, it does make life easier. I have full custody of my two kids, with nothing legal in place for their father, though he sees them regularly. I prefer to keep it on my terms as he isn't trustworthy.

Upon birth, you would be considered the child's custodian by default. The father can petition the court for whatever he wants ; custody, visitation, etc. The judge will entertain whatever motion he files. You of course can contest any motion he files as well. However, don't expect the judge to grant your petition just on the basis of suspicion without any actual evidence, such as past actions, to back it up. The judge will make a final decision based on what's deemed to be in the child's best interests, which, in the absence of any real evidence to the contrary, will probably include liberal visitation and possibly even joint custody. Of course, before any of this can proceed, there has to be an establishment of paternity. This is usually done either by him signing an affidavit or a DNA test.

Quote:

Originally Posted by d3stin3d2blov3d

im due in two weeks and im not with the father of my child. he wants to be able to take her for weeks at a time. i dont really trust him. but he wants to stay with dual custody of my daughter. im worried that if i allow him to take my daughter he wont bring her back. do u think that it will be hard to get full custody of my daughter would it be worth it. the reason i ask is because a couple of months ago a girl from work allowed her babies father to take him for a week or two & when she went home that day all of her childs things were gone & she didnt know where to look for her child because like me she doesnt know his family and doesnt know where they live. she tried to go to the police and they told her because nobody had full custody that the baby wasnt really kidknapped.

Hi you could try to make your child award of court that way both parents have to agree to the child being taken out of country,also get him to supply you with all his familys names and addresses and check them all out.
Also I don't know if you are in uk but here in uk a parent has full responsibility when they sign birth certificate if mum and dad arnt married it was only brought in as law in 2004.

Quote:

Originally Posted by d3stin3d2blov3d

im due in two weeks and im not with the father of my child. he wants to be able to take her for weeks at a time. i dont really trust him. but he wants to stay with dual custody of my daughter. im worried that if i allow him to take my daughter he wont bring her back. do u think that it will be hard to get full custody of my daughter would it be worth it. the reason i ask is because a couple of months ago a girl from work allowed her babies father to take him for a week or two & when she went home that day all of her childs things were gone & she didnt know where to look for her child because like me she doesnt know his family and doesnt know where they live. she tried to go to the police and they told her because nobody had full custody that the baby wasnt really kidknapped.

No it's not hard to get full custody and go get it! I would NEVER let anyone take my child for weeks at a time. I won't even let my ex have my son without me present. You can get a court order for that too. Good luck!