Hi there,

I purchased a house a few years back with my ex-wife. We have two kids 12,13yrs and they still live in the house. Her name is on the deed, but only my name is on the mortgage. We were not married when we bought the house and I am currently remarried to another woman.

How can I sell the house. She can keep the profit, I just want to get rid of the mortgage.

Thanks,

Marko
Nashville, USA

Hello marko:

Well, of course, she owns the house too, and you're not going to remove her. If she doesn't want to sell, then you can't make her. I think the two of you are partners in the house until she wants to sell.

You may find some relief through a family attorney.

excon

Marko, the house and mortgage issue should have been resolved at the time of the divorce. It doesn't matter that you purchased the house prior to your marriage. What does your separation and divorce papers say regarding the house and mortgage payments? Do you pay alimony? Child support? Let's start with the basics so that we can give you the proper advice.

P.S. This was posted at the same time as excon's post. He is correct in that you can't force her to sell if the house is in her name.

We were dicorced in 1997, decided to live together in 2003, bought the house in 2005, I moved out in 2007 got remarried etc.

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Originally Posted by RubyPitbull

Marko, the house and mortgage issue should have been resolved at the time of the divorce. It doesn't matter that you purchased the house prior to your marriage. What does your separation and divorce papers say regarding the house and mortgage payments? Do you pay alimony? Child support? Let's start with the basics so that we can give you the proper advice.

P.S. This was posted at the same time as excon's post. He is correct in that you can't force her to sell if the house is in her name.

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Boy, you have created quite a predicament. Can you have a reasonable, rational conversation with her? What was your agreement when you moved out? Do you pay child support? Did you agree to continue to pay the mortgage on the house? There are quite a number of issues here. I think excon is right. Ask co-workers, friends, neighbors, for the name of a good family law attorney in your area. You may need to renegotiate whatever verbal agreement you made with your ex. A family law attorney can help you with that and put the new agreement in writing.

Hello again, Marko:

Hmmm, that didn't help. You were divorced. You got RE-involved and never got RE-divorced.

Dude, you're screwed. IF this was a second divorce, the court COULD force a sale. But, you're basically partners in the house with her now, and I don't think the court can force her to sell. You haven't said anything about her violating the agreement, so you have no grounds to void the partnership.

Sir, I believe you made yourself a very, very bad business deal, and I don't think you can get out of it. That's my view; however, you should see an attorney.

excon

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Originally Posted by excon

You haven't said anything about her violating the agreement, so you have no grounds to void the partnership.

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excon is completely correct and this quote I pulled out of his post is going to be your biggest hurdle. Did you trade off paying child support in exchange for paying the mortgage? That is a MAJOR factor if you did. You also have to do what is best for your children. If you aren't paying child support, and this is the only monies that you are contributing to the household, you are going to have a tough time extricating yourself from this agreement. You may be better off keeping things as they are rather than creating conflict between you and your ex.

See an attorney.

Can I quit paying and let it forclose and get rid of it, just thinking worst case?

Hello again, mr.

Not really... You'll ruin your credit in the process and there's nothing to stop her from making the payments. Plus, if she doesn't have a support order now, she'll get one.

Nope; you're going to continue to provide a roof over your kids head.

excon

I am in complete agreement with excon here. Very bad idea. If she doesn't pay, it will absolutely ruin your credit. That won't just affect you, it will affect your new wife. Married partners are responsible for each other's debts. The bank's lawyers may come after you full force, not just take the house. You just can't take that chance. If your ex pays the mortgage, she will find a Family Law Attorney and come after you with both barrels loaded. You could very well find yourself in a huge financial hole, much bigger than the mortgage payments you are making now. No court will look kindly on you for attempting to evict your children from their home. I am not sure what is prompting this mram, but please, go find a good Family Law or Divorce Attorney in your area. He/she can discuss what your best options are. Usually they don't charge for an initial consultation. Find out what their fee structure is when you make an appointment. Don't continue to compound a bad judgement call by making additional ones.

Can you stop making payments, well of course, but you never did answer a lot of questions people asked here that will make a lot of difference as to what happens,

1. are you paying your child support in addition to the house payment, and are these payments current

2. Has there been any ruling in family court over the house.

But in the end, she could take you back to family court assuming you are still paying child support also, and say that you had been paying for the children's housing also, and she wants the court ordered adminded for either additional child support or for a housing payment.

Also if you were paying the housing payment instead of child support, and this was not approved though the court, guesss what she can claim you have not paid any child support ( you don't have any reciepts for it) and you are way behind.

I have been paying "non-official" child support since 1/15/07 when I moved out for about $200/week and $1040/month for the mortgage. The mortgage account is up to date.

We have never been to court.

Thanks,

Marko

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Can you stop making payments, well of course, but you never did answer alot of questions people asked here that will make alot of difference as to what happens,

1. are you paying your child support in addition to the house payment, and are these payments current

2. Has there been any ruling in family court over the house.

But in the end, she could take you back to family court assuming you are still paying child support also, and say that you had been paying for the childrens housing also, and she wants the court ordered adminded for either additional child support or for a housing payment.

Also if you were paying the housing payment instead of child support, and this was not approved though the court, guesss what she can claim you have not paid any child support ( you don't have any reciepts for it) and you are way behind.

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Marko, my advice won't change. You need to find a good family/divorice attorney in your area. I hope you have cancelled checks to back up what you are saying here. Have him/her draw up a reasonable support agreement based upon your income. If you have been honest here and have been paying child support along with the mortgage, you have been paying $1840 per month. I don't know the reason why you left or if you made that agreement with her because you just wanted out of the relationship, but you would be much better off filing paperwork through the court system and letting a judge decide, if she is unwilling to go along with an adjusted support agreement out of court. You do have an obligation to support your children, but it should be for a reasonable amount. Unless you earn a substantial living and your ex is legally declared disabled, if you seek out an attorney, he/she will help you in working out a more reasonable and realistic child support payment than you have currently obligated yourself to.

She has never made any mortgage payments and she could not afford making any. I can not afford making mortgage payments and child support. One of them have to give eventually. I might be forced to pay child support, but can't be forced to pay mortgage I can't afford.

Now when she is going to have her child support done, I guess mortgage has to give. I don't really care about my credit, it has never been that great anyway.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RubyPitbull

I am in complete agreement with excon here. Very bad idea. If she doesn't pay, it will absolutely ruin your credit. That won't just affect you, it will affect your new wife. Married partners are responsible for each other's debts. The bank's lawyers may come after you full force, not just take the house. You just can't take that chance. If your ex pays the mortgage, she will find a Family Law Attorney and come after you with both barrels loaded. You could very well find yourself in a huge financial hole, much bigger than the mortgage payments you are making now. No court will look kindly on you for attempting to evict your children from their home. I am not sure what is prompting this mram, but please, go find a good Family Law or Divorce Attorney in your area. He/she can discuss what your best options are. Usually they don't charge for an initial consultation. Find out what their fee structure is when you make an appointment. Don't continue to compound a bad judgement call by making additional ones.

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You are being very foolish. If you let it go to foreclosure, the bank can still come after you for the balance after a foreclosure sale. I can see one scenario where the bank forcloses, your ex buys it from the bank for a fraction of the value, then the bank goes after you for the balance.

How much equity do you have? You might consider trading down if you have enough equity.

But I don't think you are going to be able to abandon your ex and especially not the kids. If I were you, I'd try to workout that you pay the mortgage as a sub for child support. In that way you are paying on an investment.

Thanks for your reply!

I have around $15,000 equity in the house, what do you mean by trading down? I offered my ex-partner to sell the house and she could keep the profit, but she want's to keep the house (and me paying for it), and child support (to pay for her new car she just bought).

This is the scenario I am facing.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

You are being very foolish. If you let it go to foreclosure, the bank can still come after you for the balance after a foreclosure sale. I can see one scenario where the bank forcloses, your ex buys it from the bank for a fraction of the value, then the bank goes after you for the balance.

How much equity do you have? You might consider trading down if you have enough equity.

But I don't think you are going to be able to abandon your ex and especially not the kids. If I were you, I'd try to workout that you pay the mortgage as a sub for child support. In that way you are paying on an investment.

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