Hi, I have a weird problem. I have a strong yearning to live part of the year in America. I'm a middle aged Irish woman, happily married, with a job I enjoy. I love where I live and I'm very normal apart from this hankering to have a connection to the States. I have traveled all over Europe and parts of America and I'm always happiest in America. I've never made friends or any permanent connections with people in America because my trips there have been so short. I thought the best way to solve this would be to buy property somewhere in America (I have just over €100,000) but my husband thinks it's too far from Ireland and we could only afford to travel there once a year at the moment. He is right but it doesn't stop me wanting this connection. Can anyone give me some advice on figuring out a solution? I would be so grateful. 🙏

Hi Gemmor63,

Based on your post, I think a compromise between you and your husband's wishes would be a good solution to your problem, and I think getting a pen pal of sorts would be a good step in that direction?

You mentioned that you've visited the U.S. before but never made any friends or connections, so maybe if you establish a strong connection with at least one person from the States, then you could get to know the country better. If you get to know a person well enough for you and your husband to stay with them for longer periods of time, then that could help you learn what it's like to live there day-to-day. You could then discuss further with your husband whether getting property in the States could be a realistic option in the future.

With the existence of the internet, I'm sure that there's a website or service out there that could easily help you connect to people living in the U.S. online without having to visit in-person first. I'm also pretty sure there are pen pal programs specifically meant for this purpose.

The reason I think a pen pal would be a good idea for you is that the U.S. is a very big country and you need to know what it's really like to live here before you make any big steps, like buying property. As a U.S. citizen myself, I can tell you that there are many factors to consider before you buy property here, such as which state you want the property to be in, the price differences in each state, and the people/lifestyles you wish to live around. There's a big difference between owning property in California vs. Wyoming, for example.

Having a pen pal can get you more "inside" information and personal experience on what it's like to live here, compared to what you may read/see on the internet or other information outlets, though it's always good to gather as much information as possible to avoid bias. But by having a pen pal, you could ask him/her specific questions that other sources may not be able to give you.

In short, I think learning more about the U.S. through a person that's lived there for a while would be a good start to deciding whether getting property is something you really want to do. It's great that you've visited the country and I'm happy you liked it here! But there's a difference between how a tourist views a country versus how a local views it. Plus, with the whole pandemic happening, I think it'd be best to look into talking/writing to someone online or through a videotelephony service rather than in-person.

I hope this helps you! And to all the other people on AskMeHelpDesk, feel free to disagree with me (I'm only human) or suggest other ideas for Gemmor63!

Hi RandomPerson36,

Thank you for replying to me and yes that's a great idea. I will certainly pursue that. Good luck with your studies.