Ask Me Help Desk - Confronting a pregnant. Woman?

Confronting a pregnant. Woman?

What would you do if you saw a very pregnant woman smoking? My son and I saw a 7+ month woman smoking (My so is 5:) ) He got very upset and said mommy if smoking is bad for you, what about the baby in her tummy? I told him it was bad for the baby, he became more upset and asked why I would not do anything. Frankly, I did not know what to do. What would you have done?

Nothing. Does not matter what anybody would have said. They would have done whatever they wanted anyway. Honestly there is nothing you can do. You can not force somebody not to do something. It is their choice. Even though it does effect a little baby, that will be something they have to live with if there is something wrong with the baby. I have seen that myself, a pregnant women smoking, my thoughts are you stupid bi#$h. What could I do, getting in a fight with a pregnant women would not be good either, right.

I would agree, while it is bad for their health and not good for the baby, I would agree with my child that yes it is a vary bad thing to do and some people don't have the concern and care for thierself as they should

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Nothing. Does not matter what anybody would have said. They would have done whatever they wanted anyway. Honestly there is nothing you can do. You can not force somebody not to do something. It is their choice. Even though it does effect a little baby, that will be something they have to live with if there is something wrong with the baby. I have seen that myself, a pregnant women smoking, my thoughts are you stupid bi#$h. What could I do, getting in a fight with a pregnant women would not be good either, right.

I agree 100% you couldn't of said anything to change her mind. I used to work in a restaurant and when a pregnant women would ask for a drink, we couldn't refuse to serve her even though we new it was wrong.

You do nothing. Nothing at all. It is her baby, her body. Cigarette smoking does less damage than many other substances she could be ingesting.

Remember hearing MYOB? Mind your own business. While it sounds harsh, that is all you can do.

That's a little harsh.

Yes, a little harsh, but the truth. If the doctor can't stop her from smoking, what can you do to stop her?

I never said I can do something to stop her. But someone should want to do something to protect that little baby. The government won't do anything. Why don't these women care?

What would you have the government do though? The dangers of smoking are well known. The problem some pregnant women have is that not only is it an addiction, it is easy to not think about the possible effects on baby... out of sight, out of mind. For all you know, she may be trying to quit, she may have been able to cut down substantially, she may be a two pack a day smoker... there is just no way to know.

I do know of some who pass out little cards with a pic of a baby smoking in the womb and bullets listing the main concerns about smoking while pregnant and ways to quit. Will it make a difference? Maybe... it might cause a few to stop and think again about what they are doing. But you have to be very careful, as any interaction will often result in the mother just becoming defensive. She most likely already knows what you say is true... she just doesn't want to have to think about it and/or finds quitting too difficult.

I'd probably give out to her. If everybody made it such a nuisance for her to smoke in public at least it would cause her to cut down a little.

I used to cause such a fuss when people smoked in front of me as a child- I hate to think what I would be capable of now.

I wouldn't do that in front of a child in my care though, as I think it is inappropriate for adults to fight in front of (born) children. So I think it was right for the OP not to have done anything because her son was with her.

I would never serve a pregnant women alcohol. Or if I really had too I'd probably spit in it in front of her. It's probably just as well I don't work with the public anymore!

Smoking during pregnancy should be illegal. I won't write what I think the punishment should be!

I seem to be feeling quiet militant today! I have to say this post has received some severe editing (on my part) so that I don't get banned form the boards.

Why do they not care because they are stupid. Plain and simple. Government is the one that makes money off people who smoke. They actually produce products like these that are made to be addictive. It can be a strong addiction you know. Like I said getting in a fight with a pregnant women could do more harm to a child then possibly the smoking.

You do not think that everybody who posted here wants or would love to protect the innocent babies. Whether you see it or not we all want to but at the same time each individual has a choice to make. If this mother that you saw and the one that I saw chose to be stupid and smoke while they are pregnant. That is something they have to live with if something is wrong with the baby.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

What would you have the government do though? The dangers of smoking are well known. The problem some pregnant women have is that not only is it an addiction, it is easy to not think about the possible effects on baby.....out of sight, out of mind. For all you know, she may be trying to quit, she may have been able to cut down substantially, she may be a two pack a day smoker.....there is just no way to know.

I do know of some who pass out little cards with a pic of a baby smoking in the womb and bullets listing the main concerns about smoking while pregnant and ways to quit. Will it make a difference? Maybe....it might cause a few to stop and think again about what they are doing. But you have to be very careful, as any interaction will often result in the mother just becoming defensive. She most likely already knows what you say is true.....she just doesn't want to have to think about it and/or finds quitting too difficult.

Thank you once again Doula for your educated and kind response here. As you mentioned, nicotine is an addiction. We as healthcare providers do indeed teach our patients about the dangers of smoking on an unborn child. But, it is an addiction, nicotine is a drug. Better nicotine than cocaine, right?

That woman may have cut down drastically, we don't know that she hasn't. It's not up to the government to tell us what we can or can't do behind closed doors. If she wants to smoke, knowing the risks, unfortunately that is her right to do so. What can we do? Take the baby away from her when it's born? Nah, that's reserved for heroine addicts and the like.

Sometimes also, the stress of quitting smoking cold turkey can be worse on the baby than cutting down.

Also, as Doula mentioned, one has to go about teaching smoking cessation to a pregnant woman in a manner that does not cause her to get defensive. Once she is defensive all attempts at quitting will no doubt fail from that point forward.

We have people all the time who go against medical advice, it's called AMA... all we can do is chart it properly and watch for any potential complications.