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-   -   I am working in a foreign country and I am feeling very lonely (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=698684)

  • Sep 1, 2012, 12:23 PM
    btnmlg1989
    I am working in a foreign country and I am feeling very lonely
    Hello, I am 23, I am from Spain and I am working in Finland, in a town 100km far from Helsinki, this is a small town, there isn't too many stuff to do. I was here a couple of months before, with two spanish guys and it was easier as we could support each other and talk in spanish.

    I made a lot of finnish friends in that time, but I had to come back to Spain, then in Spain I met a spanish girl who was working here in Finland and was feeling lonely because she was working as Au Pair in a house in the woods, isolated and almost all the time alone. Then we talked a lot of time, like one month and then I came back to Finland (not for her, in Spain the situation is very bad and I got a job here).

    She is great and we eventually started dating for two months. At this point I have to say I have been in Finland for 5 months but all the time I have been or with those spanish friends (who they left Finland with me and they didn't come back) or with my now girlfriend.

    She wanted to leave Finland due the lonileness she felt in the woods alone, but now she met me she wants to study here and settle down here but...

    But she had bought a trip to Spain some months ago and she had to fix some businnes like getting the driving licence before coming back here. But the last two month I spent all the weekends with her, and other people ofc but always with her...

    Now she is going to stay there a couple of months... maybe 3, and this is the first weekend without her, I always want to show people I am strong, but I feel weak or empty now. I don't fit with my finnish friends, they drink and pass out but I don't have fun... I am thinking on joinning some sport, like martial arts, or yoga, something to let me overcome this loneliness. I am the only spanish speaker around here, and I don't know what to do. The job is great and my boss is a good friend but when I reach home or the weekends... I feel so empty and sad. I am speaking with my family, my girlfriend ofc and friends and I don't want to worry them.

    In Spain I used to be alone, I didn't hang out so often but here its different, maybe its just because I miss her, more than to be alone... I am missing her, I know she is going to come back, but I feel bad now...

    What do you guys think?
  • Sep 1, 2012, 12:28 PM
    joypulv
    Yes, join a sport, join anything. Invite your boss or others at work to do something that doesn't involve drinking and passing out. Buy a camera and take pictures of the country (preferably with a friend to act as tour guide). Tell people you are lonely and missing your girlfriend, and ask them to take you wherever they go.
  • Sep 1, 2012, 12:36 PM
    btnmlg1989
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    Yes, join a sport, join anything. Invite your boss or others at work to do something that doesn't involve drinking and passing out. Buy a camera and take pictures of the country (preferably with a friend to act as tour guide). Tell people you are lonely and missing your girlfriend, and ask them to take you wherever they go.

    Thanks, people also tell me I have to learn how to live alone with myself, it doenst matter if I have a girlfriend or not, but its difficult. I don't want to feel depressed...
  • Sep 1, 2012, 03:52 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Yes, I thought you were alone all these months, not just a weekend.

    I may have missed how old you are ? I will assume very young. But you need to get out and do things, as much as you can, Use this to learn culture and people, which is what the experience of being a Aupair is all about.

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