Help My 8 year old is totally freaked about washing her hair or even taking a shower or bath. She screams bloody murder if she has to wash her hair and also while she does it. I have taken her to the doctor and there are no medical reasons for it. Please help if anyone has any advice on how to get an 81/2 year old child to actually like washing her hair and taking a bath please let me know:):)

My son was the same way when he was 4
I wore a tee shirt and cut off jeans and had to actually get in the shower with him. It was like wrestling a big dog or a cat into the water.

When it's not time for a shower or bath, talk to your child one-on-one. Ask her why she does not like bathing. She might be afraid of going down the drain (silly, but kids have vivid imaginations) or maybe she heard something that scares her. When I was 12 I saw a movie about the holocaust, and the room they depicted as the so-called "shower house" where they gassed the victims looked just like my junior high gym showers. I was old enough to do the mental work to know it was not the same, but I still felt really uncomfortable and hated using those showers. Kind of like as much as I know that Jaws is not going to bite me, I'm apprehensive swimnming in the ocean!

If it's just not something she wants to do because she flat out doesn't want to (would rather watch television, it's boring or whatever) too bad, so sad. Make it conditional. Bath right after dinner or no television, no video games, no toys. And you can take it further - you will not watch television or play video games until you take a shower or bath without any arguments or drama whatsoever. If you start this behavior again, you will loose the privilege again.

I guess I would approach it as, "Mary, you don't like bathing but everyone has to bathe. If you don't, you will end up with parasites, skin infections, you will smell and you will look bad. It's a basic requirement for your health just like sleeping and eating. It is also expected socially in our family, and everywhere. You are required to have a shower or a bath every single day. You may choose one or the other."

Then let her know, "If you refuse, it is bad behavior and you will be forced. I will physically get in there with you and wash you if I have to, and I am telling you that if I have to do that, you will loose all of your priviledges until you do it willingly without me having to fight you in any way."

Then you must follow through. Choose a day when you can wait her out and call her bluffs.

I have one son who I adopted as a toddler and he was very frightened of taking a bath. The first three times his father and I bathed him, he stood stock straight with his hands balled in fists, screaming to a piercing decible the entire time, refusing to open his eyes, refusing to move his body at all and so on. We just stayed totally unemotional and talked calmly while we bathed him. If we had to clean his sides, for example, we'd say, "Wow, this arm is stuck to this side so we'll have to really work to get this washcloth in there and then we'd wiggle it between his arm and his side." The next day it was a little harder for him to scream so much. We put a plastic barney and some boats in the tub - which he hadn't seen before, and my husband played with them making all sorts of fun noises and stuff and saying, "well, if you don't want the toys, that's cool - I really like them!" By the third day, his crying only lasted a minute or two and then he was playing with the toys and having fun baths.

We didn't indulge the emotions but we weren't harsh and mean either. WE just said, "I know you don't want a bath, but people have to take baths, and you're a person, so, Oh, well."

My advice would be to just ignore the outbursts.

Most of this type of behavior is intended to produce a reaction, if there is no reaction, the behavior will usually subside.

maybe she's afraid of you messing up her hair. U know... how kids like to look good. Just reassure her that you won't mess up her hair too bad, comb it and things for her. See?

Lastly:



That's cute =) lol

I had the same problem with my daughter it was when she was smaller though around 3 or 4 she just didn't like the water in her face and would scream I bought a detatchable shower head that she could hold herself it made things a lot easier and as she got bigger she used it the regular way.

Has this been going on for a while or has it just started recently?