I have been with the same guy for eight years. We have been engaged for the last three. We recently moved in together and things are not so perfect. I don't have unrealistic expectations, but I thought things would be better than this. I recently told him I want out of this relationship and all he can say is " I don't want you to leave". Is this good enough. I need to know if I should leave or stay.:confused:

Want to give us more background on the relationship perhaps starting with WHY you want to leave?

You should ask him (my opinion) how would he feel if you decided to leave the relationship (like you said before) whether he wants you to leave or not? See what he says. You don't have to say it in those words.

I personally don't think that "I dont want you to leave" is enough.

Yeah ChiMomma has a point

If you think you should leave, then leave. You cannot be afraid to make, what you believe to be, the right choice.

Sounds like you didn't know him very well before moving in together. Now you have a better idea of who he really is.

It doesn't matter what he wants. What do you want?

1) Relationships are based on hard work (including progress) and happiness. But hard work should happen naturally.

2) If you are unhappy and feel that there isn't any progress, then chances are it's time to call it quits.
3) Suffering is not part of a healthy relationship.

Based on these factors, you have to decide what you think is best.

If your not happy then don't stay. Life is to short. What will you do stay because he doesn't want you to leave and marry and be miserable for years? Your wasting both your times if you stay. What's your history like? Are you in love with him?

You really don't know someone until you live with them. Yes, you have been together for 8 years and you think you know everything about them, but once you start seeing each other day in day out, start picking up each others dirty underwear off the floor, and dealing with the not so pleasing aspects of living with someone... it makes you start to think if this is what you want.

I would try to work things out and communicate more with him. Be VERY specific on why you are not happy, if possible. I'm sure he will do his best to make an effort to salvage what is left. You have to tell him why you want to leave and why you are not happy the best you can, so he can understand.

If it's his living habits, tell him! If he stinks, tell him! If you don't feel loved anymore tell him!

Try to communicate and work your problems out before you make the final choice to leave. 8 years is a lot of hard work, time, and commitment to just throw away.

If it comes down to the fact that he is a slob and you can't live like that, tell him he needs to shape up his living habits, and until he does, you'll be staying at home or over a friends house. You can work it out that way too.

I'd have to agree with what everyone else said. I too lived in with my ex boyfriend after only knowing him for a few months. At first it was fun and we were "so inlove", but living together - especially when you're not ready, can set the relationship "off balance". It lets you see the other person 110% - which can take a turn for the worse. Perhaps you are now seeing sides of him that make the mystery and thrill of the relationship go away. You don't feel that excitement anymore since you two are together from when you wake up, to when you go to sleep.

About your question, if you aren't happy living with him, maybe you should try living apart, I know its hard to separate once you've been together, but it looks like you need your space. Heck, you might even save the relationship if you try it. If after living apart, you still find that you are unhappy, then I suggest moving on.

Moving in is a big adjustment and it will sometimes drive a huge wedge into your relationship, which you have found. Now, your decision needs to be based on communication with him and then deciding if it's worth the time.

No one on here is going to tell you exactly what to do.

I am going through similar situations, but my boyfriend and I do not stay together and thank God for that. I am so UNHAPPY in my relationship because I started to hate myself because I am with someone I am unhappy and miserable with. The best thing for you to do is break-up and with that being said I am going to take my own advice and do the same. I am sick and tired of being with this man because he completely destroyed my heart and soul so not its time for me to escape because something got to change.