My bf/fiance of 14 years passed away on Sept. 7th. The only way I can cope right now is to pretend I'm in my own little world. It works until I have to see someone or go somewhere and I'm thrown into reality. I'm afraid of letting it all out and I feel like I'm becoming a burden to my friends and family so I haven't been calling them. Is this denial or shock or something? I'm so afraid that I'm going to think I'm just fine and dandy and then completely lose it.

Grief Therapy may help. Lots of Churches offer such.

Get some help. Your hospital should have grief support groups or you can make an appointment with a therapist.