Hi,
I've been married for just over a year. About 2yrs ago I was sitting with my girlfriend (my now wife) and over heard a conversation with her cousin in law on the phone. It was an almost innocent comment that I heard, but I didn't ever really trust her cousin in law as he'd mentioned to me before "I should hurry and marry her as he knew of others who were interested.", namely himself. However when I confronted her and she said that he had told her he had feelings for her. I was very angry with him and told her that I didn't want her to speak with him or see him.
As time moved on we got engaged, and married. I did notice little things, and would mention it, but she denied anything. She said there was nothing going on, and she never saw him as a threat as she knew him since she was very young, 14 or so, he was more like a brother. (She's 29 now, so almost 15yrs)
Shortly after our wedding though I found a "love letter" from him to her. I would consider myself a natural worrier so I thought prior to this letter I was probably worrying for no reason. This of course blew everything up, including her family, as it was her cousin's husband after all. We went to counselling, and after many questions and arguments she admits to an emotional affair but never anything physical. We've somehow stayed together although trust is still and issue it's slowly improving.
However a few days ago we got into a strange conversation that lead me to ask if she still had feelings for him and she wouldn't answer. She says that he's her family for so she still cares about him. The problem is she let him get close to her because he was "family" - and he used that connection to try and get into her pants. She just doesn't see it.
Do I give up at this point? We've been together over 7yrs. I feel like he stole my life from me, and she let him! What do I do?